for i stay where my body lay,
by the corpse of the hung loved one.
the pain and sorrow of your passing made me change course.
now i lay, cold and lifeless by the remains of my life.
the knife so uncaring, the rope around your neck.
i will always love you no matter where my head may lay,
but the death of thee would be the end of me.
our hearts no longer beat, for we shall meet after
the passing of the pain to our immortal love forever.
A contest entry
- For all of you Brilliant young Poets...20 and under.... by islekine.
750 points, ended June 8, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter Whatever. by OurxBeginning.
300 points, ended June 7, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
This is a well penned poem...
I do however, judge on creativity...and I know Love is a big theme in all of our lives...but it is done and done and done....I look for more unique themes...and would love to see you enter something in my next contest with some "wow" factor....This is short, and well done...although not capping any words is a new one....not fond of it either...it breaks the flow for me....you will score fairly high, because I am not taking off too many points for the "love" theme...next contest..I will!!
My final score will come at end of judging...
write on!
*PEACE*
-
I agree, a sad piece but I did like the ending, a touch of love to a tragedy. Deep but short as well. Thank you for entering and good luck.
-
Awwwwwwwww so sad but very happy for tehy found a solution to their horrible problem yay happiness in teh end if u believe in afterlife lol. Good poem =)
Adding your comment:
