Taken from my honest home;
Fear that molds me more insane.
Captured in the pitch of dark
and forced to live a life of pain.
Chains that rattle in the dark;
Weakened screams and deadly cries.
Bound against a wall of hate,
I'm bruised and beaten by my lies.
Brutal whips and aching sores;
Bodies buried by my crime.
Whimpers in the foggy cold;
Torture makes me count my time.
Chaos clutters through the brain;
Disarray can breed distress.
Muddled pity holds my mouth
as shackles leave my mind a mess.
Tied behind a cell of shame;
Guilt is merely mine to shed.
Only one man holds me back,
and he's the one inside my head.
Author notes
I've mentally kidnapped myself. Only I can let myself be free.
What does this poem mean to you?
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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I loved this poem. Great job!
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great write
great write-fantastic message-oh so true! thanxxx for entering. One applause per entry before judging to be fair.
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To be trapted in torment of ones own demise, I understand where you are coming from. I really enjoyed it. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
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Good
Much better then the dribble i find on other poetry sites. i quite enjoyed reading this, thank you for this pleasure...
S. -
A nice and interesting piece. Thanks for entering.
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This is very much a style I enjoy, despite the rhyming. I don't usually care for rhyming but this, I like. I like your use of alliteration with 'chaos clutters ' gives me a wonderful image inside my head. All the best in future pieces.
-Rodwen.
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Poetry is such sweet therapy. Good one!
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I understand all too well where this is coming from. This is beautiful.
"Chaos clutters through the brain;
Disarray can breed distress.
Muddled pity holds my mouth
as shackles leave my mind a mess."
These are my favorite lines, and they are all too true.... Of me anyway
Thankyou
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i love it!
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this surely IS awesome if i may say so myself...Good Write -GOREgous Gore
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i agree, WOW!!!!
this is so intense, i love it. its so odd that we mentally kidna ourselves, and sometimes we dont want to let go. its so great though, (your poem) -
wow
This is a very good piece of poetry. Nicely done
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I like this a lot. The concept reminds me of parts of the book Still Life With Woodpecker. I felt like this poem got better as it went on; I really liked the lines "Muddled pity holds my mouth/ as shackles leave my mind a mess."
However, I felt like the phrasing in the beginning line, "hearty home," was a bit awkward. Partly because that's a phrase I normally associate with soup and not houses, and party because the connotation you were aiming for is already included in the word "home."
Overall, though, very good poem. -
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Most of my poems tend to get better as they go on, because I write them backwards. That way they end with the inspiration/punchline. lol.
Yeah, I've had my problems with this piece as well. I wrote it rather quickly. I used the word hearty, because I wanted a word in the first line that greatly contrasted the darker tone. But yes, if a reader starts dreaming about soup, it's clear that I need to do some retooling. heh. :-P
Thank you.
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Wow. That was very interesting! Ive never thought that anyone could..Kidnap themselves. Its a good poem and I loved the imagery and the rhme scheme!
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