The shady little spot under the weeping cherry tree
Had always been a very special place for me.
The tree was very beautiful, as you may assume
The flowers were a vivid pink when they were in full bloom.
In the shade of this great tree is where I'd always sit
I went there very often more than I'd like to admit.
It was my little refuge, this pretty tree of mine
I'd be having a bad day, then go there and be fine.
I could sit under my tree with my notebook in my hand
Right in my front yard is where that tree would stand.
You may have noticed that I'm speaking in past tense
For there came a time when it grew to be immense.
It started scraping the house for the branches were too long
So down it was fell, though it once grew big and strong.
I was very sad because we had to cut it down
Now there is no place for me to go when I frown.
When I am feeling down I just go to my room
Thinking of my tree that was so beautiful in bloom.
Sometimes I run outside and weep as sorry as can be
At the stump that is the grave of my weeping cherry tree.
A contest entry
- Contest for KIDS ... Write about trees. Prewrites invited... by Melodies.
600 points, ended June 2, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please comment if you have time! I would love to know what you think of my poem! :D
Comments
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Nicely constructed
The title seems to define this poem well, letting you cool off your depressing emotions in drooping branches... like a person sheltering you in cope of your feelings. It was interesting the way you describe your favorite, living place with bright and happy flowers in hint that that maybe will support cheering you up. I do imagine the looks, of course lol. Got worried a little that you were going off to something like a park by yourself for a minute from the next couple verses. However, "I could sit under my tree with my notebook in my hand Right in my front yard is where that tree would stand" made it so perfect still staying align for home. I then fell into your ability to concentrate and write what you see and your heartfelt words right there.
Your second half of the poem seems to go into a story that kept me intrigued, of how much you enjoyed it that you keep speaking about if it's ok or not. Line fourteen is ironic that sometimes when things get real big, they either can't hold their own substance, or the owners'.
Expressed admirably in the ending, showing what you're left with and how the only thing you do is ongoingly think of that gorgeous resting. And, oh my "At the stump that is the grave of my weeping cherry tree" makes sense, when that was a personal thing to you now gone- what contrast with part of the trunk that still appears as the grave stone whether inanimate or not.
I thoroughly found places I wanted to pause at and fill in the dots, congratulations on bronze,
PIA-K -
You are right that trees do so much for us and I believe they are beautiful, too!
What would we do without trees?


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This is a really good poem! I love the lines
"You may have noticed I'm speaking in past tense.
For there came a time when it grew to be immense."
They made me
in a sad way...that makes no sense
This is a sad and powerful poem, great job! The rhyming seems a bit forced in places, but the overall effect is great! Great job and good luck in the contest





