A cock crows steady for sixty
Seconds as a dog barks off in the
Distance and a car almost starts.
Dark square of curtains seal out
The morning, but he is still awake
holding the letter with a bottle.
It slowly slips out and shatters.
Walking across the glass he opens
The drapes and stands motionless.
Two boys ride by laughing on bikes.
Their seats are red & Their hair's brown.
He presses his palm to the warm pane.
Author notes
Written December 25th, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
Seemed to finish without actually saying anything. In any case, I am a big fan (indeed a connoisseur) of whores of all sizes and colours. Starting with my Auntie Bert.
-
Whoa, I write from the prospective of a female prostitute often, which is what I thought this list would be about. But unless I've lost a gift to interpret, this is of a male prostitute... Very thought provoking, and somewhat elusive. I love the last stanza, it is a gut-puncher.
Adored it--
-shirley- -
I don't see from the poem that the prostitute is dying. Is he, in fact; dying? I understood the title, but I missed the point both the first and apparently second time through. I was expecting the poem to be in Spanish. I thought it was well written and it conveys a depressed mood.
-
Extremely poignant write. I can't tell from reading it that English wasn't your native language. I'd say you've managed to master both languages so well that there's really no way to tell that either one is not your native language.
Just an observation.
The poem is well done, but I wonder why you are writing about such things now? Is this someone you knew, or is it a flight of fancy?
Anyway, good job on a difficult subject. -
Since I have spent most of my life in West Texas, I was able to interpret the title based on my limited knowledge of the spanish. It was easy enough to do a bit of research to find out if I was right
. I like the direction you approached the topic from --yeah, yeah, I know bad english 
I think the piece captures a reality that is more universal than most of the more proper folks would like to admit. I liked the symbolism you used in painting the picture in an isolated, but significant moment in time. Morning is not a time of happy happy joy joy for everyone. Thanks for the reminder. You present your topic in a way that makes us think. More people should think, I think
-
You already know you're a good poet. You neither need nor want my criticism.
-
interesting outlook on life you have. I love the idea and how the whole point would be clear if you just look at the title. I actually didn't need the explanation of it. It was really clear. It was an interesting piece of work. I think you really wrote it the way the male prostitute would think it. I still love the whole idea and I'm amazed at the fact someone actually thought of writing about something like that. I love your style of writing even though this is only the second poem of yours I read. It seems you write about the things most people overlook and your writing is not cliche. It also gave me some good images in my head. Very well done.
-
This poem really put me into the scene you had created which I admire.
The part I liked best through out the piece was him walking across the glass.
I found it interesting that you had an entire section entitled prostitutes, I'm going to have to check some of the other ones out. -
I read it as everyman. Not necessarily a prostitute, but then arent we all prsotitutes. Beautifully understated touch at the end that speaks volumes on life and memory with just a few words. that is good writing.
Muerte del prostituto is the proper translation into spanish of death of a prostitute, male. and i would write Muerte del puto, if a more colloquial feel is desired.
Edited on Apr 21, 1:11 p.m. because ''. -
'Hey everyone!
So the contest is finally over...and it has been very (very) popular...and I have so much to do (i.e comment on everyone's poems...If I haven't, you will get one, if you like it or not!) and then start judging. So this may be a bit of a lengthy process, but bare with me!
Thank you...
You should probably hear back from me in a few days time!
Good luck
*~penandpaper~*.
p.s Thank you everyone for entering...!' -
First stanza caught me as shock then made me smile, the word play tied together with the title was good. The poem hurts though, but I won't say why. No lingering on with stories of a stupid past. Just gonna say it's good..I liked. And first stanza was brilliant. (not empty praise)
-
A cock crows steady for sixty
-a cock grows for sixty seconds was my initial thought
but i read it wrong
this fills me with an agonizing sense of longing, for something that perhaps i wish i was and now can never be, or for a feeling, a moment of absolute ...joy.
Nyx... -
The point is in the title, death of the prostitute. He's a male prostitute locked up in his motel room looking out like a fish in a tank, and remembering when things were simpler. It's pretty obvious if you read the title that is. I grew up speaking spanish. Perhaps in my mind the words are more symbolic than in yours.
-
Lots of imagery. Missed the point, but could see it all. I guess that's poetry. Thanks for sharing!
Happy Holidays!
Lynnette
-
intresting piece i like it a lot
merry xmas
naughty
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
4 old applause
