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The Drunkest Ever

When I drink I do not think
Of no one but myself
You'll raise your toasts
with foamy boasts,
and claim it is to health.
But I drink to die
To role my head back in my eyes
Documenting lies within a
parade of sighs.

Ice float foundations.
Greasy cold sides
Straws that are too thin
Umbrellas that cover only
my middle finger
Bathrooms, that make
you piss outside.

I use to care that you thunk me drunk?
but unfortunately I can't remember
who in the hell you are anyway.

It was on the barstool that
could not spin all the way around
that I gathered enough copper,
and off blue fuzz from my leftist
pocket to calmly ask you again
for another, in which I did, and
so did you, and then it was gone.

On the way out I noticed the
flickering of a mystery drink.
Dancing all by itself in the corner.
It winked at me, and bid me come.
So I laughed, and went home.

Puke stained shag carpets
Kareokee dreadful wallflowers
A cigarette machine that hates my guts
Robot bartender with a dead eye
Flammable material, everywhere.

Author notes


Written December 25th, 2003

In a list

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Snakehips Pete
    April 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You were clearly full of rotgut when you "WROTE" this so I suppose it's fair that alocoholic ramblings should win. Maybe. But surely spelling and grammar need not be abandoned on the altar of booze.


  • Heartofacircle
    April 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    nice write. well done, thanks for sharing this piece, keep up the awesome poetry here, and best of luck in my contest!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • Thayla
    January 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Great poem. Been there it sucked. Very well put


  • twinzy001
    December 29, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    drunk as a skunk

    great job on this I remember when i used to drink and I have such an imaginary! this poem totally told truth keep up the great work!

  • nicole92st
    December 3, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    Wow I really really like all your poems!!!! I can tell you really know what you are talking about! We could use someone like you in our group! please view my homepage and you can see if you want to join! It is a really good group
    ~Nicole~


  • Snowflake
    December 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    You described being drunk very well. Good Job! Thank you for entering!


  • shopgirl376
    October 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Damn! So many trophies- and I see why! This totally describes being drunk..such great point of view here! I really can relate!


  • horus8 gold member
    September 17, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Really?


  • September 17, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely delightful, you owe me one hundred dolllars by the way, when you were drunk you bet that I could not roll a boiled egg from my nose and catch it in my mouth. It was easy. So please cough up the dosh, remove all carrots from it then. I like my money free from vegetables. Thanks.
    Edited on Sep 17, 8:31 because ''.


  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    September 17, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    LOL! Been there done that.
    Puke flying out my nostrils on a date's cleavage was really a hoot! What's worse...she went out with me again. LOL! Ah yes, those were the days.
    I've never been bounced out of bar, though (arrested, yes...bounced, no).
    Good write Horus. GL in the contest. ET


  • Karli
    September 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Ha ha, I liked this. It is well written and I love how you just told it like it is. Thanks for entering and always keep writing. ~Karli~


  • thehittmann
    March 18, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for entering my contest and best of luck to you.
    -thehittmann


  • Gingerandhoney
    March 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    A very honest poem written bluntly. I like your no frills way of putting it together. Very descriptive though and it flows like good wine or whatever your predeliction is. lol It held my attention until the end, which not all poems do without losing anything. I have read a few of your other pieces too and there is an underlying genius about them that captivates me. You have immense talent and your multifaceted views on things show an openness that is necessary to make you one of the "greats" I look forward to reading all of your work eventually.

  • in too deep
    February 17, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    yay!!! i liked it it flows and everyhing *works* i dunno what else to say so ill leave it at that

  • fixmewithtape
    December 25, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    Good

    yay I get to make the first comment. finally some1 writes a poem about getting drunk and puts it up in the featured box! anywayz... i don't like ur last stanza cause it doesn't really go anywhere but ur first stanza sets the poem up like there is some sort of purpose or problem u have with something. the poem is well written, none of the lines are stupid like some other poems on this site. Keep doin what ur doin' dude, cause i ain't a published poet either.


  • Naughtygrlred
    December 25, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    lol cool

1 - 16 of 16