His scars narrate the
existence
he knew, living
destructively, self
damnation, loathing.
His arms, sinews straining beneath
the hot red papyrus
scream of wasted years,
no waters can ease
the chaos of his falling
wipe away the memories
or the tears.
His lips sing of the life
he deserted, form a
future in his dreams and
slowly learn to smile
again.
Author notes
never judge anyone on their appearance, nobody's perfect and beauty isn't always what the media says it is - this is for the Man who's been through a lot but survived for a reason and i love him all the more for his resiliance and thankfully restored good health.
Comments
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Scars are memories that we carry for all to see, the scars inside are private, to be shared with few.
Let's face a fact though, most folks react unfavorably whenever anyone outside of their comfort zone approaches anything like "their space" I like what you say here, you show an example of why the judgment should be with held, it usually isn't though. If it wasn't for the rest of us however would they feel better about themselves? Stand proud outside of the meat grinder of acceptability.
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This poem opens and ends strongly and hints that there is an incredible story to tell in between - but I can’t help feeling that the reader never gets to know who 'he' is or the reason that has driven you to write a testimony in this way. Your notes shed some light (and seem to carry more impact than than the poem itself - see comment by faithbound) but poems do not need notes. I was perplexed by the sentence “His arms, sinews straining beneath the hot red papyrus scream of wasted years, no waters can ease the chaos of his falling (a comma is needed here) wipe away the memories or the tears. I am not clear re your intention re “hot red papyrus scream” – why papyrus and why is it hot red? Is he flying on paper wings that are burning? If so, I love the image – but to get there requires a leap of faith on behalf of the reader. Then we move to the ‘no waters’ part. Is it normally a given that these ‘waters’, whatever they are, usually ease the chaos of falling? Further, how can waters wipe away? Wash away maybe.
Don’t get me wrong, I like your purpose and feel that you really do have something strong to say – but I can’t help thinking that more work and thought needs to happen before the full potential of this work is revealed.
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wow, this is wonderful! i love your imagery! "his lips sing of the life he deserted"... this is very impressive! i am jealous! "the red hot papyrus screams of wasted years"... this is an awesome poem! you make a good point, and you get that point across! great job!
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'the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom' william blake
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I just love reading your stuff!!!
Scars do tell the person. I remember when I was younger, and still do at times, compare scares with my buddies.
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I like the grittiness of this piece. It is unapologetic for presenting the reality of scars. There is a journey to be made through life, and we can be, in our core, survivalists of the most resiliant sort. Well written. Geo
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this as odd as it may sound reminds me of my husband because of what he went through in his childhood and yet he is still here for many reasons. who ever this is written for it is so wonderful..you have a great write.
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What a wonderful poem of victory...of overcoming a dark past and looking to the future! It looks to me like this man is very blessed to have you in his life!
What an honor to him in his struggle.
Good imagery throughout. I really like:
"His scars narrate the
existence
he knew"
It flows well.
Well written!
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A great awakening of the life..you are herewith my friend..the tone and the subject is indeed a universal melody of life..well done...
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wow it takes alot to love someone nomater what im so happy 4 you at first i thought it was going to be an emo poem cuz it started off with scares but its still alsome
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If only the whole world would follow your advice. I am happy for you and thank you for the entry. :f
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