Bus flips in a ditch,
My body lurches to the side,
My arm is twisted the wrong way,
Everyone groans and cries.
Seat belts would have held us,
Instead of letting us roll over,
Our head where our feet was supposed to be.
The roof of the bus,
Is worse than those seats,
It is rounded,
Which means all the blood pools.
Screams of agony,
Screams to siblings,
Damn the school board,
For not putting them in.
The only one who is really safe,
Is the bus driver,
Who sits in a comfertable padded seat,
And is strapped in snug and safe,
While the rest of us,
Pray to god we don't die.
A contest entry
- #72 Let’s pretend that your opinion can make it or break it. by daviscth.
300 points, ended May 27, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Wow.. this is extremely powerful. Not a big fan of gore, but it definitely suits this piece as support for your argument. The last stanza is fantastic.
Great job.
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wow...fascinating.
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Yeah, it happens to be on of my reoccurring nightmares, considering we have very steep hills that are extremely unsafe for a vehicle that large in the rain.
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Holy crap... do you think you could have been any more gruesome? Haha. After the line about the "blood pools," I almost lost it. This was a very good write, and you should do well in the contest. It certainly gets the point across!
One suggestion though: Perhaps you should try changing "comfertable" to "comfortable."
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Yeah I could have been a bit more gruesome, but as you said it is a bit much. XD Thanks for the suggestion, I have the evil typo monster lurking somewhere nearby. XD
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Whoa kira hopefully nothing like this has never and will never happen to you. I had a bus 194 where the seats (all of them) had seat belts for everybody and if you didn't have it on you would get in troble.
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It could happen to you as well. But we get off so early it is hardly a risk, but still even the kids I can not stand should be safe.
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I know that. But I don't care about me as long as nothing happens to anyone else. I would like not to be hurt but to stop somebody else from being hurt I would rather it be me than them. Going down that hill in the morning especially with rain is very dangerous.
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Yeah... You would think that people would be smart enough to put in seatbelts but NO our school system is retarded. We spend half a million on a freaking paved track then some more for that stupid sign but we do not have enough textbooks!
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Yeah I know. They said if 194 worked out good they would do it to every bus but it is still the only bus i know with seat belts in them.
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That is the only one I know of that has it.
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Boy, this message came throughloud and clear. Thanks so much for taking time out to post this. It's really vivid in detail.
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Thanks. I have nightmares about this. Since my bus is not one of the safest around, (Including factors represented by students.) I have been begging for seatbelts to be installed on the bus.
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