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Needle Dance



Needles dance along my arms
tapping a bold tatoo

Shirley the old hooker
purses her lips, blows a bubble

Be careful man
the bubble says

be careful

She doesn't know a thing
about the horse
or the monkey

I wave good bye, the bubble pops
the needle slips in fast
as nightime in the tropics

 

 

 

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A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

  • Zayra Yves gold member
    June 10
    Edit | Reply
    Perfect!

    Congratulations on the silver!


  • zochit2me gold member
    June 9
    Edit | Reply
    I am lovin this for sure.
    Every time I read it, I get something else from it.

    Becky


  • Cat gold member
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    hello hello

    so good to find you here - upstaging
    the theme- conquering the world of poetry

    so nice this piece

    if this were mine i might consider
    removing the "out" from line 2

    and in in the 2nd to last line-

    what i like? everything else.

    m

  • Dalaney gold member
    May 27
    Edit | Reply
    ahhhh, so I am competing against The Artiste! Well, I knew it would happen sooner or later, and I know enough when to concede Again, you have enchanted me with your talent for poetic storytelling, and if anyone deserves gold, darling, it is you. Love, Madame X