Upon worthless
You do find yourself
Rivers flow
Amalgamating you in blood
Anger causes
Your thrown down state
Young do
often abandon you
For none
want to keep you
Author notes
Okay...I think that is 30 words...[goes to count again]
enjoy!
A contest entry
- Twisting Words. by metanoia.
950 points, ended June 4, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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The form was really organized and I liked it. The rhythm was a little choppy, though. It didn't flow as much but each little stanza seemed to be a poem in itself, which was interesting. The word choice was too simple and I gathered no sense of atmosphere or tone. Conceptually, this was a mess. I would have hoped that you could have expanded the word 'worthless' and added onto that concept since 'spit' happens to be a disrespectful sign for something that is useless or inadequate.
Anyway, Thank you very much for entering. Good luck in the contest. -
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thank you very much!
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interesting. I like the way the stanzas are set up and the color choice and the word choice. however, no real meaning seems to be there. good luck in the contest!
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thanks!yup nothing...spit is kind of a boring object...ptewwy!
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Spit can be a lot of things, its really how you use it. Spit= saliva= acid= dissolution= potential digestion of self or of happiness or..whatever.
It's about thinking outside the box and beyond the actual material object. ANYTHING can symbolize something, even a broken bottle cap. Just take time to think about it. -
true, very true... I see that was the contest.
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ptewwy!
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