The walls were dark
and high
and close
pressing in
deafening -
the courtroom was adjorned.
"Girl-child,"
a deep, commanding voice
released the words like cannonballs,
deep and cold, suspicious,
malicious,
intent on seeing my destruction;
the tone, it never changed.
"You stand before the jury -"
Twelve icy hearted lizards,
forked tongues licking lips
blood heated by the raging fires of hades
warming their clawed, gnarled feet...
They sported business suits,
gleaming Samurai swords adorning their
scaled, viciously toothed faces.
"- accused of most heinous crimes:
lost heart; forfeited spirit; torn mind;
an unfit being of existance -
period."
I shiver,
stripped bare and bared
as the demonic jurers strip me further
with their inadequetly analytical minds.
"For this, there is but one punishment.
You are unworthy of ownership of it,
so we revoke and condemn thy soul.
Up for auction."
The atmosphere grows thick and hot
as maniacal and suffocating laughter
torments the recesses of my mind
"Also revoked!"
screams the judge
my thoughts clearly percieved -
deep and hollow,
the laughter resounds,
louder with each passing moment,
as the jurers don neck-napkins
sporting my face...
The man with the
fullest pocket
walks away with my
dignity; true self
in tow.
Sadly, I watch myself go...
Author notes
Hope it's not too long! Critique, please!!
Entitled thus as the consequence of the actions is having her insides revoked.
A contest entry
- Do You Wish to Buy My Soul? by SuicidalLover.
850 points, ended May 27, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Positive and Critique feedback most appreciated...
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Congrats on the silver!
Oh my wow! This is awesome, and quite an accurate account of a court room 
The way you've made the jury demons, they really do watch with beady eyes, like they're gonna pounce on you! And the culprit lose their soul is fantastic (should have so got gold!), of course it is like loosing your soul, if your found guilty. It really is laid bare for all to see, every little detail! You have captured this so perfectly! So much better than any of my hellish accounts of it. Would love to put this in my hall of fame 
With your consent of course...let me know Stunning write, really stunning! Congrats on the silver 
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This is truly an amazing piece of work, in my opinion you should have won gold for this. The voice behind it powerful, the imagery is haunting. The dialogue is definately well set and adds volumes to the work. Thank you for sharing this.
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Gaspingly dark and hopeless. A true nightmare as "sadly, I watch myself go." Surreal. You should put this on the reading list at Silver Keys so that we may enjoy your dark side. Kudos!
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You have stepped out of the box. Unbelievable coldness and darkness here. There is nothing more to say about this piece other than STUNNING!!! You have impressed me greatly. Keep writing and STEP OUT OF THE BOX. 3 claps for you.
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hmm im not sure how i feel on selling bodies. As for souls... haha jk. Beautiful write. I wouldnt have come up with this..
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congrats on the Silver!
came back to your poem to enjoy it once again!
way to write!
ears -
Applause-applause-applause!
Loved this poem, the imagery and how you led us right
where you wanted us to go........
the whole poem was my favorite part...way to write
and unleash your soul!
would you please add this to the reading list for
Gluttons for PUnishment, so we may all celebrate your
POEM!
plus we've updated the site, take a peek.
ears/Seattle way to write poetess! way to write!
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ooh now this is soo worth the silver,
wow this is so dark and mysterious,
i wish i could critique this but i cant,
its pure thought provoking excellence,
i love it so much its on of my most favorite poems now,
i love the structure and wording of the poem,
my favourite part was:
I shiver,
stripped bare and bared
as the demonic jurers strip me further
with their inadequetly analytical minds.
"For this, there is but one punishment.
You are unworthy of ownership of it,
so we revoke and condemn thy soul.
Up for auction."
it sent my mind crazy with anticipation,
love you!!
kitty xxxx -
It has done its job. Chilled me to the core....thank a god out there that isn't me! Thanks for entering.
~Kystal Angel
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Very interesting style, its amazingly well done you can picture it all perfectly, you are defiantly improving fast!
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