O Eve, you are my heart's true delight,
your presence blesses me this very hour.
I wish you to accept me tonight,
that I may be the bee within your flower.
Adam, you are my life's love as well,
and sharing with you pleasure is a joy.
You see, I've bled from down there a spell,
and worry that our union may annoy.
O Eve, this is such sad news indeed,
so, I shall make you comfortable today.
I shall most surely honor your need,
we'll share our blessings in another way.
Adam, life is as good as can be,
that you look after me so tenderly.
Author notes
The world was the exact same place before and after the apple was eaten... it just looked completely different to those who ate it. They lost their connection to one another, and to the natural order of the universe, by believing their knowledge of their individuality was more important than the connection, when in fact, they had no knowledge at all. It boils down to vanity and conceit over love.
This is a bastardized sonnet form to make the meter sound more like a true dialog. Alternating with 9 and 10 syllables. I am reading the odd numbered lines as:
spondee, iamb, iamb, amphimacer, and the even numbered lines as iambic pentameter.
In a list
A contest entry
- Before The Apple... by Dalaney.
950 points, ended June 3, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Loved the poem and your notes especially. Congrats on the bronze,
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This is a beautiful write, Allan. The author notes were interesting. It makes me think of how the things around us don't affect us as much as our view of what happens, if that makes sense. Like, when people believed the world was flat, it didn't change the fact that the world was round. This piece reminds me of a quote I once read of Giordano Bruno. That truth does not change whether or not it's believed by the majority of the people. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.
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LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO YOU DIDNT!!!
Oh well yes, you did. great job.
Loved it
Love ya
Passions
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Ohhh.. well now... very thought provoking indeed.. especially your ANs...
Had to laugh at Amera's comment... yay for blueberries.. hehe
Well done as always hun..
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