Lofty dreams laid soft
'gainst the pillow
of mundane strife.
Her beauty lies deflowered
on lipstick stained sheets
that 'morrow kissed to dust.
Wrinkled eyes trace youth
in a wardrobe
that once held wonder.
But no longer...
It lies vacant
as the moth eaten tear
fluttering down her cheek.
And salt - like knives
pierce a wound,
deeper than skin.
Yet the battle wages onward...
Where war once ravaged
her country
now, it eats her heart.
Absence
devoured a memory
stolen in a time of dark.
Where are you...?
Echoes greet mirrors
and light reflects
her regret.
Inward,
her silence baited
a Lion's breath.
Author notes
Name: GreenHrtPaleMoon, Marty
Theme: Susan the Gentle, Queen of Narnia
(To all those unfamiliar, she was banned from returning in the final book)
A contest entry
- For all of you Brilliant young Poets...20 and under.... by islekine.
750 points, ended June 8, 2008, 23 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Lovely this, and it does capture that magicial land, but with a modern pathos, great write.
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I think ...
she was banned in the second book, not the final book.
At least that was in the movie.
Nice job and congrats on the Silver trophy.
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooo!!! I do like this SO MUCH!
You have captured the mood and feeling with your delightful lines of captivating imagery. 
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Nice!
i feel the emotion, just like i wanted
i love the way your wrote it
good job
good luck in my contest!!
-Bri
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oooooh my, I feel like crying now
such a sad poem. I love the Narnia books, and I was so sad when Susan couldn't go through the wardrobe anymore.
You've really done wonders with the Theme.
I think this is the best part of the poem:
"Where war once ravaged
her country
now, it eats her heart."
The emotion captured in these few lines is brilliant.
Thanks so much for sharing this and for taking the time to enter my contest,
Luck.
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This was beautiful! You are an exetremely talented poet! I loved this. Thanks for giving me the chance to read this
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This is superbly penned!!!
Thanks so much for entering!! Best wishes in the contest...my final score will come at judging...
Write on!
*PEACE*
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I love narnia and personally I have never seen a poem relating to narnia but I am so glad to finally. Loved it
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This is very emotional.
Your words are so raw and edgy, very potent in their depth.
Absence
devoured a memory
stolen in a time of dark.
God...
That stanza is like an utter absence of warmth and happiness. I love it.
This is absolutely wonderful.
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*promised to be good so just applauds*
and yes, it is nice to see you write this type of piece where you pull in emotion. Prepping for Cavanaugh Park, are you? haha
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Wow my darling
Powerful words that paint such deep meanings
I can reflect on that mirror, but I have re looked and what reflects back is better now
Love you
Auntie
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You're a really beautiful person, aren't you Marty?
I'm not sure if I got the metaphor, but the imagery was wonderful, and you've left me stunned. I LOVED the second stanza.
You amaze me again. I wish I could write as well as you can.
~Cassie
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"Absence
devoured a memory"
I think this was absolutely fantastic
I think or once, I will have to counter Mark - I don't know you as well [or thats what I think] and this ... isn't you. But still said with emotion dripping off
♥
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Not so much an "ode" as a perceived reflection, viewed at such an angle as to hide your own.
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