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The destiny of legs finding their way to you.

                                                                    Picturesque vision of chiffon body hugging white
                                                                           walking, as peach outlines

                                                                                white fluffy clouds.
                                

                                Resplendent skies and rewarding
                                rainbows, share joy,
                                                              praise our love

                                                              to priceless gold.

                                                                                         Radiating desire,

                                                                                         I take one-step after the other;
                                                                                         pink tied ribbons trace the destiny

                                                                                         of legs, finding their way to you.
                                                           

                                                        Let the sea-breeze

                                           wash me free of the desperation

                                                      in our separation.

                                                              and


                                         The closer I get,  
                                        I sense your eyes

                                      waiting to rest on mine.

                                   My love, know the biggest,
                             roughest seas would not stop me,
                                        you’re my answer.

                                                                       My sweet saviour
                                                                          I didn’t mean for this distance
                                                                            trust I am coming,
                                                                              we’ll be together soon…

Author notes

I am sorry I realise it it over 10 lines..but I just couldn't pull it into long lines..I tried so many different things but it only works this way in my eyes...if that means no trophy I don't mind, I lov'd writing it


credit artist--Tale Of The Sea Maiden: by *Iribel

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • KayJay
    June 23, 2008

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    Just beautiful, Cindy... Obviously not totally unappreciated () as other commentor's have noted. You weave a consistent theme, lovely imagery, and beautiful phrasing to produce a truely remarkable poem... I'm just jealous that's it's not written for me (LOL)... just teasing.

    I guess if I had one criticism (and it's just my opinion) I'd say the layout breaks up the flow a bit. I almost felt as if I was reading several smaller poems... but that's just me...

    I think this is a truly beautiful work... Thank you for sharing...Honestly, this is what I was hoping for... and it's unappreciated no longer.

    Ken


    • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
      June 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      It was sort of intentional, to have it feel like mini pieces and a whole piece...which not many appreciated, and you confirm..but im not offended at all..This one I want to be appreciated more, cause other then being a pic inspired write it truly is was inspired from thoughts to do with my partner etc

      I am so very glad you appreciated this , that it is what you were hoping for..Thank you for the opportunity Ken


      Cindy


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    May 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aww sis.. this is breath taking.. and speaks of such love.. distance cannot separate true souls!
    Just gorgeous


    • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
      May 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hehe..I really really loved writing this one..the pic is on my desktop, im in love with it hehehehehehe


  • Weltt
    May 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this was breath taking. I enjoyed every bit of it and it fit so well with my situation a couple years ago so i can definately relate!! I liked that you didn't let the line limit hold you back and I was glad to read this in it's entirety. To be fair to the other people who only had 10 lines to work with to get the point across this probably wont place. Unless of course I don't like the other ones. As I said, I am in no way upset about you going over the line limit and I thought this poem was pure gold. well done and thank you for sharing!


    • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
      May 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I honoured to recieve a HM, so thank you..I didn't expect a place..Just wanted it appreciated, So thank you..and for ppreciating it too heheh

      I really fell in love with that picture when I saw it..it's on my desktop hehehe , I don't know how it couldn't inspire, wonderful

      Thanks again

      Cindy


  • perfectsunset gold member
    May 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oops here's the applauds


  • perfectsunset gold member
    May 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    This was so so beautiful sis.. I loved it so much!!! Definately now my favourite of yours.. flows so gracefully and feelings of serenity while reading.. your words captured the moment.. so tenderly. Amazing write hun!! & good luck in the contest


  • luna-midnight gold member
    May 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is awesome
    lovely write and good luck
    take care sissy *hugs*
    love you
    stephanie


  • Life Is A Game
    May 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, this one is beautifull!! i love the way you described the picture without stating what you actually saw. i love it.


  • Dragonheart1 gold member
    May 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love the pink bacgroud and the layout..Good poem The words radainting desire...we'll be together soon... touch me because of the unspoken truth in them.God luck in the contest!


  • tainfinite
    May 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    taiinfinite

    totally beautiful in every word and in every sense, a great slight of touch. and no you coudnt shorten that that would cause the reader grief lol


  • Margaret Denham gold member
    May 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    If you keep this up babygirl, you'll be the reigning Queen of Romance around these parts

    It's absolutely beautiful and the soft warm colours of the picture combine to make your words radiate such warmth and tender feelings.

    Best of luck in the contest even if you went over the line count.

    Love you
    Mum


    • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
      May 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Aw hehehe

      I didnt wanna go over line counts etc..but it coulnd't be helped I loved using the pic, my current mood hehe and pulling together thoughts..all fun

      Lov U mum

      Cin

  • luna-midnight gold member
    May 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    is this the love poem ur working on?


    • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
      May 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      hehe yep

      cept im like, I wont win, cause it's like way over ten lines..and I am not willing to smush it up lol..im nearly done wont be long


      • fortyninereasons gold member
        May 26, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        I am glad you wont 'smush it up' I enjoyed it, no matter about the line limit...sometimes we just have to let our muse run free of constraints.Especially loved: pink tied ribbons trace the destiny of legs, finding their way to you. Love Juls


        • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
          May 26, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          hehe yep she ran free tonight hehe

          oh yes that line came out and I was like damn Cindy thats good, I likey hehehe


          Thanks Juls


          Cin

      • luna-midnight gold member
        May 26, 2008
        Edit | Reply

1 - 21 of 21