A whirlpool of emotion is dragging at your feet,
To suck you down the plughole and drown in your deceit;
The sewer pipes are waiting to carry all the lies,
Efluence mixed with water is not a great diguise.
Beyond there is a river that reaches to the sea,
Within the stormy waters resides another me;
I wait as you move forward towards the hidden mouth,
For you are on a journey that takes you further South.
Yet in these mixed emotions I swim against the flow,
There was a time I loved you and I must let you go;
For only in admitting that I was also wrong,
Will I see that forgivness will help to make us strong.
I push you in the current so you are out of reach,
The tide begins a rescue and lays you on the beach;
Now we are both survivors who've learnt how to forgive,
We'll walk away, remember, the life we both can live.
A contest entry
- Inner Peace by Kari.
1500 points, ended May 27, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Wow, this piece was deep and filled with imagery. Thanks much for your entry.
Kari
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Aw this hit a nerve with me, not long split form my long term partner, and this rang true. You have to move on and forgive, so that you don't have to forget the good that you once shared. This was really inspiring.
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This is a fantastice poem running infinitely deep, and the conclusion brings a mixture of strong emotions. Love the rhyming pattern; simple but so effective. All in all - great work!
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I can see a description of what the author felt can bring inner peace ~ I thought this was a creative poem and can see took much thought in writing ~ thank you for sharing with us. prettypoetry ♥
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I could feel the undertow. Great flow, great rhyme, and i love the fact that it went full circle. It starts off angry and slowly gives way to the aforementioned inner peace. Also, your metaphor of fighting the current is an apt description of the difficulties of forgivness. Great poem.
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An excellent poem that is a joy to read. Rhyme and flow are superb.
All the best in the contest...Sue
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Terrific writing, excellent metaphor couched in strong rhyme and meter, what is there not to like?
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