John’s scars mean more
to me than any love
song he might sing.
Scarlet gouges scream,
silver rivered threads
weave his story
but I don’t care.
I love his
patchwork truth.
Why wear shame confining
sleeves, or conceal the
insanity of then?
I love his
soft indelible traces
the ridged uneven ferment
he wears.
Each pit, each mark
a reminder of what
he was – before
this now.
Author notes
other people find these scars quite upsetting because they don't look at the person inside and that's their loss. real beauty doesn't have to fall into the expected and to me he is truly beautiful.
A contest entry
- Define Beauty. by FlaviusArrianus.
950 points, ended June 14, 2008, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Who Inspires You? by PureCountry.
875 points, ended September 4, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I can't believe I'm doing this again. by NoUseForAName.
600 points, ended August 19, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - True Beauty by crazymomma.
1400 points, ended August 19, 2008, 31 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 45 of 45
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We, human beings, are woven from history and it indelible marks upon us and yet we arise out of our past more than history can declare, resonant with the character of who we are and the past no more than a robe of many colors scrawled about us. You catch the mighty power of real pride of being and how it transforms and transcends all the things people often get caught up in. This sings of the power and beauty of the spirit that lives within the being. Beautifully done my friend.
Love,
Tom B.
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Very beautiful and moving.
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Intresting wording of your verses. I would suggest breaking these into stanzas; which would help with the flow of the poem and easier to read. The verses :
Scarlet gouges scream,
silver rivered threads
weave his story
but I don’t care.
I love his
patchwork truth.
Doesnt quite flow correctly as it is written... maybe modifying "I love his patchwork truth" to make it flow better. Or even taking that verse out would work in fixing the flow.
I would use spell-check.. im not sure if some of your words are spelled correctly, though I personally do not know the correct spellings, as English is not my native language.
Over all very good job! And keep up the good work.
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It is truly love
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I love the really tight form of this poem which makes the images so concentrated and in sharp focus. It really shouts in sincerity he must be a really special guy!
Deserves all the Laurels.
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mmmm.......
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Reminds me of a Tim Burton movie.
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This poem is by far the best poem I have ever read. I agree with the inner beauty being most important because it is. I also love the way scars look. I don't know why, but I think letting people see your old pain is both brave and kind. letting them know a little bit about your past and telling them you're looking to a brighter future no matter how many new scars it may hold
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So Beautiful
A wonderful display of true
Love,unconditional,flaws,scars and all. Enjoyed reading this a lot. Loved the truthful purity and powerful emotions!
Gr8t poem.
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Scarlet gouges scream,
silver rivered threads
weave his story
but I don’t care.
I love his
patchwork truth.
Why wear shame confining
sleeves, or conceal the
insanity of then?
Oh such an exquisitely written piece! Such sensability and elan for emotion. I daresay that you have touched me. You know of true love.
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This had a very liberating for me. Simple but emotional and full of love and understanding. I felt like you could have taken out "this" in the last line, I sort of tripped on it when I read it. Other than that, I liked this. Thanks for entering
Jeanette*~ -
It sounds to me like true love. He's lucky to have you there to love him as the whole person he is.
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I too have scars both inside and out. They are what make me me. My man loves me for my empathy and caring I found through the pain in life. I really enjoyed this poem. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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Thanks for pointing me here. I agree that, in general, this works better than SKIN - as it is easier to grasp - here we don't need to know the background - as you dismiss it in L7 and later, you remind us that it is the now that counts. You conjure beautiful images with your word choice, painting those scarred distortions up in true artistic fashion - thereby achieving your goal (your punctuation could do with a little more thought though!). It would be interstesting to try to merge SKIN with this - where a re-worked version of skin could explain the background - taking us through the fall from the burning wings, finally emerging into the cool of your soothing words here. Thanks - I enjoyed this work immensely
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Your Words,
speak of an appreciation for the true beauty of a person. As well they speak of the true wisdom of one who notices such. This offering says so much, when given the time to be reflected upon.
Niaish for the offering. Best of Luck
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"I love his patchwork truth".
This line is the poem. This is exactly the type of writing I was hoping for. Beauty is honest, and honestly is often ugly and painful- and that's what makes it beautiful in turn.
I have no real critique for this. The line breaks are jerky, but I like that with the images and topic. Thanks for entering this. -
This describes true love, the unconditional acceptance between souls. Well written.
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Beautiful Poem
This is very powerful, and you can just feel the emotion running through it. I liked your use of imagery like "soft indelible traces", but I think my favorite lines of the poem were "I love his/ patchwork truth"-- very simply put, but it struck a chord with me.
Very nice job.
-CJ
P.S. Thank you so much for commenting on 'Open Book'! I really appreciate it! -
Powerful
As I am a person with some mean scars..I am humbled and awed that my partner finds them as you do. Thanks
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This is definitely an interesting take on an extremely-contrived topic. I actually wrote something similar, and I'm glad that I came across your poem... It's our scars, whether physical or otherwise, that shape who we are.
My boyfriend is an ex-cutter, and I've seen the scars... They're a part of the past that has made him who he is now, and everything about him is beautiful to me. The past is gone, but it creates the present moment, something beautiful.
Very deserving of that silver trophy... My best to you, now and always.
Laura x
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Incredible poetry, its certainly one way to look at things and its very cleverly written which makes even more unique and captervating
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Wow. This is truly amazing. I've never seen this angle in my life. Beautiful. Really.
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WOW
I don't even know any other word to describe how I feel about this poem than wow...its incredible. This is a very good write. Congrats on writing such a powerful piece
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This is just awesome imagery:
Scarlet gouges scream,
silver rivered threads
weave his story
but I don’t care.
Very, very powerful stuff. Made me wince just reading that.
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Patchwork truths... interesting phrase! Some of the words seemed to run a little bit together, maybe put some more commas in it, or maybe that was just me thinking that they need commas
.
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
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silver rivered threads
weave his story
but I don’t care.
I love his
patchwork truth.
wow. beautiful! seriously. emotion comes out of every word. -
Wow I really liked this , I used to always feel shame from some scars I have but came to realize that it's part of me and who I am Thank you for sharing this
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Beautiful piece, definitely worthy of the silver trophy it netted. I love the idea here, and it's so true. Every scar tells is a story, woven on someone who himself (or herself) has a story. Good luck in any future contests with this one, it would be tough competition in any contest.
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I really like this. Maybe you should describe the change that you refer as "this now"? Just an idea. I LOVE it as a poem though.
AnonymousX -
The title drew me in, and I think that
is true beauty, when you see the scars
of a lover, or friend, and are able
to accept the journey they took that
got them their scars, and also the
wisdom and knowledge they gained from it.
Yes, beautiful.
Thank you for the comment on "adorned." -
i can relate.....you can find may ridges on me....i tired sucide 4 times.....that was a different me though this hit hard :_: i had a gf actaully off herslef very powerful this is the true essecene of poetry being moved
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Very true and profound I like this well done!!!
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Tru talk right there, very good..I enjoyed reading this...good job and good luck with the contest.
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This is such a deep poem thats conveyed in a beautiful way. I understand what you are attempting to imply and it is very mighty and structured poetically perfect. Amazing work, I loved this!!
~Emily~ xx
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Hi
I was touched by your devotion to him. Yes, it's a very noble thing to love someone despite their past or hurts. I always end up feeling so sad that there's nothing I can do to heal these kind of hurts when they belong to people I don't have contact with or know. When I do know them I honestly try to be a listening ear and do what I can because I know what it's like to hurt deeply even though I don't cut on the outside.
Great write!
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Wise soul...good lesson for us..all
and you know...it takes more guts to live with scars
that are view-able...and be the wonderful man you
described...then walk around a gorgeous hunk
who has a bitter soul.
very touching poem...and what a wise soul you are!
ears/Seattle way to write!
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This was absolutely amazing. The beginning drew me in and I wasn't disappointed in the least. Your way with words is so sweet, and scars can tell you more about where a person has been than any story they may share with you. This is excellent and I look forward to reading more of your work. Best wishes
Rodwen
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this is so simple and i love. To the finalist list
thanks for entering
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I like these lines:
Scarlet gouges scream,
"silver rivered threads
weave his story
but I don’t care.
I love his
patchwork truth."
they are a poem within a poem.
thanks for entering -
thank you for entering! great job and describing TRUE beauty! I totally agree, beauty comes from the inside. great job and good luck
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<3 Love love love.
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Very nice write!! You did a very good job with the imagery in this. I was holding my breath as I read this, it was so good. Your love for him really comes out in this, and he's lucky to have you. Great job and good luck!!
-Twila -
A good poem, and a lesson. You have to look past the outside and see the person within. I have made plenty of deep friendships by overlooking the physical for the person that was locked inside.
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This is very touching. I really enjoyed it. I like how you showed what real love can be. Thank you for entering. Good luck in entering the contest.
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amazing. that is the only word that came to my mind. i just started to show my scarred arms, and they are not pretty. obvious even from a distance. this truly moved me. i like how it shows how people can look past them and just see the person and not their pain.
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