Darkness is blazing
As the light licks the bare flesh
Pain is there in sight
A contest entry
- Weekend Haiku by azure85.
600 points, ended May 28, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This is short but interesting. Well written and worded
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Darkness is blazing
As the light licks the bare flesh
Pain is there in sight
A very dark haiku, but very descriptive-it could have multiple meanings. Thank you so much.

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rawr
short and simple, but good. you did crazy good, even with only 3 lines. light licks, darkness blazing, it sounds kind of emo, but it is very good. -
I remember my first Haiku...everyone kept bashing it
lucky for you i am nice XD 
But for you, i'll try to be constructive. "Darkness is blazing", good line, yet the next one is "as the light licks the bare flesh" seems to be the opposite. It's good, don't get me wrong, but it seems to not flow with it correctly. When you talked about the light, were you speaking of the "light" that darkness gives off? If so, then that makes sense
as for the next line "pain is there in sight" it seems to be almost thrown in there. I thought that there would be anoter line of dark and light, since they seem to contrast, but that is just my take on it
. But overall, i think you did pretty well considering your writer's block for a while
Good luck in the contest, AJ


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Short, but really good AJ
. I loved the second line! Very vivid
GREAT job
diggin it majorly

1 - 5 of 5





