I loved her bloody diamonds
An impure virago with no windsock
But she will never leave that Island
The way her stones are fashioned
Confabulations became clear rock
I loved her bloody diamonds
When they shined, I was enlivened
For her I crowed a healthy cock
But she will never leave that Island
Her eyes are like oriental almonds
See how the natives flock?
All love her bloody diamonds
I tried to tell her as a friend
That she chose, instead, to mock
She will never leave that Island
One day soon, she will be enlivened
To the ticking of the clock
I loved her bloody diamonds,
But she will never leave that island.
Author notes
Written December 24th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- are you frustrated? by screamingsoft.
350 points, ended November 12, 2005, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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i'm not going to outright analyze this..
because i'm cryptic like that.
but i'll let you know it got to me
and the rhythm and flow of this poem did wonders.
i'll be sleeping on this poem
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I liked this poem, contrary to other comments. I got from the poem that you were in love with something that others would find... repulsive i quess is the word. You love the diamonds because they are hers. They are representive of her personality in some way. I am probably totaly off, but that's what I got from it and that's why I like it. Either way, good write.
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You talkin' to me??? LOL
I do live on an island... But I digress.
I always wonder how you come up with this stuff! Honestly...to be this insanely creative while still working within the confines of a most difficult form. The vulgarity, the beauty and the honesty here is stunningly facetted.
I’m glad you pointed me here!
Cheers! Laura
This deserves more, worthy comments! -
I don't get it, but it got me and nearly raped me (again), which is why I'm running away from it. But this poem I like a plenty. She's a symbol of beauty and violence, almost a deity to the natives but the you sees her for who she really is and tried to help her out of this deception but of course she didn't listen, she believes it herself. Love the lines "Confabulations becoming clear rock," beauty an abstraction literally crystallizing into physical reality, I picture heavy ruby earrings tearing her ears apart, but that's probably wrong since there would be no blood involved. I swear I'm too literal minded some time. So I'll stop tryin to understand it all, and appreciate the wonderful images and mastery of form.
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Heh.
I don't understand why a person would leave a comment to the effect of "I didn't get it." I mean, if you don't get it - okay, not all poetry can be 'got' by all people - but to leave a comment to the effect of 'I am duh.' ... is a complete waste of time.
I can't say I can relate to this piece or anything of the sort. How could I possibly know everything that you meant? If I had the oppurtunity to "read your mind" - I'm probably just end up hiding & being timid - too many things.
However, I can say - that I enjoyed this piece, and read it several times over, savoring it. -
Um duh George, I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee ah da ah ahh.
I mean is it me, IS IT JUST ME!? But how can something as wholesome as poetry and Christian as the verse be so polluted with... Morons.
Where's my wrist rocket, I'm going to start a traffic jam. -
my asswagon never gets it...well almost never.
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not sure that i get it... and not really sure that i ever will... but it's nice to be reading a different type of poem... thanks for entering!
~`Sara`~ -
Thank you for entering a second poem in my contest, you may not enter again. This is a great villanelle.
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laughz
sometimes, it's better to leave that which wont change, than to remain attempting in futile agony to change it.
Nyx... -
intresting write
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well i'm young and i dont pay any attention to big words only the feeling and i dont get the feeling your in love with her bloody diamonds? because there bloody? confusing poem still
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Maybe because it's a vilanelle and you need a dictionary?
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i dont get it either
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I don't get it
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