These boots have walked many a path,
they've definately seen better days.
Through the desert and through the rain,
they carried him through the haze.
That night he ran for cover
with the bullets whipping by
they helped carry his wounded buddy
and were with him when he cried.
The day that he found the time
to play ball with the kids in the street
these boots ran and jumped and scored
finally, a memory that is sweet.
There came a time he found himself
running to save his soul.
He never knew, each night he went out
what he would find on patrol.
Bombs exploding, alarms sounding,
buddies falling left and right
these old boots just kept on moving
keeping his mission in sight.
Now their days in the desert are past
they're old, and worn and don't fit anymore.
But he can't bring himself to throw out
the best boots his soldier feet ever wore.
Author notes
#1
A contest entry
- Impromptu by x Gemini x.
525 points, ended June 11, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You Know You Want To Click On This!!! by Aimee Hill.
1750 points, ended November 12, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Aww
I like how you add the past along with the present. You did a really good job, and good luck in the contest! -
Oh my goodness, you told their story so well - truly, i loved all the little anecdotes that you put in, and then the ending was just marvellous - a real 'killer' of an ending - very impacting - great job and best wishes in the contest
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A nice poem, I get the feeling you are talking about the soldier carrying his buddy's and running to save his soul, not sure if you mean through the eyes of his boots though. Good luck.
angelica
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Great Job!
Spelling oops... Through should be "throw"...as in to throw something out
I also think 'wounded buddy', at the beginning, should be wounded body... it speaks as if the boots are carrying his body. And Patrol is incorrectly spelled. You also didn't mention which choice, though I would think you chose #1... since you were talking about the boots.
Aside from those factors, I think you've done a great job with this poem. The flow was pretty smooth, the rhyming didn't feel forced.. and I really like the pictures you painted with your lines.
Great job, thanks for entering the contest, and good luck to you.
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Thank you for entering my contest.
Ah. I know a few soliders, so it strikes home.
Overall, its a great preception of the word, with some good use of language...though at times the flow gets off (specifically the last sentence).
And be careful..."wounded buddy" should be "wounded body", "find on partol" should be "find on patrol", and "to through out" should be "to throw out". I also think "buddies falling left and right" should be "bodies falling left and right"...but buddies technically works too. Friends often die in war
Good job.
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This brought me right into the
war, the streets, the feelings the man and the old worn boots went through, this had great imagery, I loved this. BRAVO, DUDE/DUDETTE!!!
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Wow, worn would have been a hard word for me to write about...but you did it amazingly..."But he can't bring himself to through out the best boots his soldier feet ever wore." truly truly amazing...good luck in the contest
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Your word is:
Worn
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