I wait for your voice
To know when to run
When to run far away
To hide out of the sun
Out of the light
So you can't see me
With you only comes pain
I want to be free
Free from the pain
The hurt
That leaves hidden bruises
Hidden beneath my skirt
Where no one can see
The wounds you inflict
You hide them well
You make me sick
You don't care
Not when I cry
I bet not even
When I die
I wait in a corner
A room
For the next time
It comes too soon
You find so much fault
With what I do
Which leaves me hating
Only you
Author notes
This is about somebody in my life that is thank god actually no longer in it! Anyways tell me what you think about the poem. I want critical and non-critical comments, both.
A contest entry
- Impromptu by x Gemini x.
525 points, ended June 11, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Sooooo?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Thank you for entering my contest.
Its a personal piece, so harder to critique.
However, I will say I like how real and raw this poem is...emotion is always good...though I point out that the simplicity makes it sound almost like a rant or diary entry. That's not bad or good...it depends on what you want.
You made the word your own. Good job
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They say there's a thin line between love and hate, mine turned real quick, 4 years of life with a "bunny' monster. The poem was Beautiful!!!
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Thanks. I just let the emotion flow and this is what came out. At least it's over. Thanks again. ^^
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Me too!!
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Oh oh oh! Abuse! I see abuse! Damn stupid boys.
Anyhoot! Yeah, you're right. Your word was easy. GEM YOU'RE PLAYING FAVORITES! Lol. Just kidding. This was good, and I'm sorry you had to go through this, but, never fear, you're not alone. I was abused and such too. Good luck in the contest!
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I like your poem, its like simple elegance to me; your tone was rather light, while at the same time depicting a rather painful situation, which is goodlol good luck in the contest lol
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Your word is:
Wait
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