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The Real Feelings of Walking In The World

I walk within a world that I can touch
and a world that can touch me
with the expansiveness of the universe
full of star glitter and scintillating
meteors that flash and then are no more.

I see their brilliance and am overawed
but feel no less amazement at a bar maid
who smiles with soft eyes into my soul
Or the construction worker who gives
a masculine nod when his eyes meet mine.

That I can breathe mountain air is a blessing
then lose myself in the music of city streets
shadowed by skyscrappers filled with souls
walking about with the purpose of ants.

Then I see two lovers in a park under an alder
his arms cradle around her body as they both
watch the flight of a young butterfly
streaming in the swiftness of Summer air.
He smiles and kisses her cheek and she accepts
with joy in her brown eyes.

Along the winding Yakima I walk flooded shores
full of smooth rocks and sand. Small birds sing
songs that I love but do not know. The leaves
of oak and aspen applaud the tone of wind
and though I am but a speck of soul I know
the world knows me the way I know the world.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • Loved the imagery.

    An ever so pleasant and enjoyable poem.
    Willy ler

  • This is such a beautifully visual piece and it sings within appreciation of our natual surroundings. I understand where you are headed in this piece and think is would be even more effective with a few tweaks here and there.

    Some Suggestions:

    Or the construction worker who gives
    a masculine nod when his eyes meet mine."

    the word "Or" should not be capitalized

    "That I can breathe mountain air is a blessing
    then lose myself in the music of city streets
    shadowed by skyscrappers filled with souls
    walking about with the purpose of ants."

    This stanza is a bit awkward and may be clearer as:

    That I can breathe mountain air,
    then lose myself in the music of city streets, shadowed by skyscapers
    filled with soluls walking about
    with the purpose of ants, is a blessing.

    - I like the 'wonder' and awe and knew where you were headed with this write. Thank you for your entry and best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela

  • Whitman expounded the theories that there is beauty everywhere you look, I can see in this that you too have made that walk. This is lovely. Love,C


  • FransB silver member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply

    Much receptiveness here.

    I could 'feel' this walking and experience the profound in the simplicity of this write. Best to you in the competition. Frans


  • BluesMan gold member
    May 27
    Edit | Reply

    Such depth and beauty in your write. You captured the essance of Walt i really enjoyed reading this


  • Bams
    May 25

    Edit | Reply

    magnetic

    third stanza, first line typo? doesn't take away from piece except maybe to judge

    this is graceful. you conform to the comfort of many wonderful works that are beyond us but in front of each. there's a cheerfulness not about what ultimately but by whom, and there can be a unifying acknowledgement of wholesomeness meant. you ending drifts to such ecosystem et cetera.

    you have thick stanzas, not to tongue or eye but concept of step. the mingling of wills by one come to mind.

    I'm interested,
    babies are my subject



1 - 6 of 6