Paging through my lifelong book;
Skimming through the good and bad;
Mother always at my side,
while father's love I seldom had.
Here is where I lived my dreams,
and victory came into view.
Everything was on the rise,
but mindless father had no clue.
Pages show the dismal hate;
the pain that ripped our worlds apart.
Bitter fights and guilty lies --
the lack of love that split my heart.
Further back to better days;
us gazing at the stars above.
Laughing at the days we shared --
My father and the son he loved.
Now we're at the stopping point:
the place where wisdom soon awakes.
It took me time, but now I know
that even grownups make mistakes.
Paging through my lifelong book;
Skimming through the good and bad;
Admitting that this book could use
another chapter of my dad.
Author notes
My parents got a divorce when I was four years old. Although living with my mom, my father was still a very big part of my life until I was thirteen years old. That's when I moved to a different state. I never see him anymore. Now, lately, I've been missing my father a lot (for example - our school had a recent fishing trip, and I didn't have a dad to go with me). I saw this contest and seized the opportunity to express my inner feelings.
CHOICE 2 - Pushing away my dad.
CONTEST INFORMATION:
Username - Justin
Theme - Personal Reflection; Abandonment; Missing my Dad; Diaries
A contest entry
- Best Prewrites From May 2008 by amaranthine lover.
900 points, ended July 1, 2008, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What does this poem mean to you?
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Strong in emotion, I just didn't really find anything in it for me.
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Sad...
Being a parent is the toughest job you are never truly qualified or trained for. It makes it even tougher when a family split complicates the issues. The toughest thing of all in a family is coming to grips with the decisions of those around you. You've captured this nicely, well done. Keep your pen to the page and thanks for entering. -
Truly wonderful
Touching and excellent. i loved the end and the last two lines especially. You are truly showing that you've missed him, and that he's left you out. i was taken aback when i figured this out and sad for the ending. I was left sad, but hopeful, for at least you did not want to shut him out, and thats half the battle.
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Wow - Touching through and through
I loved the lines:
"It took me time, but now I know
that even grownups make mistakes.
Paging through my lifelong book;
Skimming through the good and bad;
Admitting that this book could use
another chapter of my dad."
Yes grown-ups make mistakes.
It is so hard on kids when one parent moves out of state. Some move for a 'new' beginning others move to distance themselves from a bad relationship. In divorce parents fight. 'Money' becomes more of an issue. Some fathers feel like if they can't see their kids they're not paying child support. Mothers get mad they're not getting child support and won't allow a visit.
I was a divorce parent, who moved out of state. Honestly I didn't think of the affect it would have on 'our' daughter. I had to get away -- far away.
You might want to sit down with your Mom and tell her you love her deeply, but you want to see your father. I did allow my daughter to go stay with him the entire summer. The first time was rough, but then I started the relief of not having to worry about my daughter.
If money is tight, you might want to try to see if you can get a job at McDonalds on Saturday and Sunday. I was 12 when I got my first job. [At McDonalds] Tell your Mom, that you will help pay for the flight, if necessary.
Your father might be able to afford to fly you back and forth too. Try calling him and telling him you want the relationship you had with him when you were 13. [before you moved] Tell him, you may not be there in person but you do think of him. Tell him about Allpoetry and let him read this... It might just wake him up. He may not even realize the pain he's causing you.
Just try to understand what is going on between your mother and him shouldn't have anything to do with you. It often helps if you say that too. [My daughter did to me].
and remember your father might find it difficult to say he can't afford to fly you back and forth, so he stalls... "It's not a good time right now..." or whatever. Try to be understanding and call him as much as you can.I hope some day you'll message me... telling me you've been able to see your dad again. Might want to let your mom read this... Your parents sound like they love you. I doubt they'd want to hurt you at all.
Beautiful write... really shows some feelings.
Thanks for entering in the 'Father's Day' contest ~ I do appreciate you sharing your work with me.
Best of luck to you,
Florida Sunshine B)
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that was sad
i really feel srry u dont get 2 c ur dad. i get 2 c mine every day. but i i hate him. ihop ur doing ok with out ur dad.
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Wow! I have been there. Very nicely expressed!
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this is a rly nice piece. it shows how everyone can see things in such a light. i also come from divorced parents and they also got divorced when i was 4...but yeah so i rly like the write. and the background emphasises (prolly not spelled rite)it so much more
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wow this is a beautifull and heartfelt piece of writing. The flow of it is so smooth and makes it so much more touching to read.
awesome write.
Remember it is never too late to track down your father and create new memories and fishing trips.
Thanks for entering
All the best
~Hollow~ -
This is really well written, I am very sorry that that happened to you at such a young age. Good write, props!
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Thank you for this entry, it is very heartfelt and simply lovely! Also thank you for following the rules! Good Luck!
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I can relate to this all too well. My parents devorced when I was 5. My dad was great, until I became a teenager... Then he just didnt want much to do with me. Its good that you know now that you want more time with your dad. I wish you luck on that! Good Write!
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Oh sweety this is so touching! Honest feelings pour forth in this poem!
"Now we're at the stopping point:
the place where wisdom soon awakes."
"It took me time,but now I know
that even grownups make mistakes"
It takes a long time and alot of growing to come to this point...the courage to look back with understanding.
I wish for you many chapters filled with wonderful memories with your Dad!
darlintlc
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You have written a great poem here I like the way it just flows one line into the other.
Thank you for your entry in my contest and Good Luck -
i can so completely relate that its crazy.
its really well written. there are too many people who need another chapter of their father. : ( -
Things and people aren't always what they seem to be
Appearances are deceiving, and most of life is painful. I'm glad at your age you realized that there are more aspects to someone's personality and their being than just what they show. I love the ending. It flows nicely this poem; you really have talent! Keep on penning, bro!
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I like the expression in this piece. It's almost like a release, exceptance and forgiveness. Through a painful life experince like this, you used that to pen an excellent poem. Keep writing.
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Great work. Getting over the grudges you have towards your father and realizing that you wish he was a bigger part of your life. Beautiful.
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A sad story, indeed and I guess I'll be agreeing with one of the lines where grownups make mistakes, too
This is a great poem, indeed written with emotion and more that can make the reader feel the same way, somehow
Hope all is well
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Very sad story. *hugs* I know the pain that you feel. Right now I am thirteen and I have never seen my dad. I want to go looking for him, but my mom says the emotional trauma I may go through would be too much. (Plus the fact that I may get thrown in juvenile jail for what I want to do. Lets just say it involves my foot, and a very uncomfortable spot on him.) *sigh* Great poem and I am sorry that you had to go through this. No one should have to feel that hate.
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Thats a really sad story, but an excellent poem... I loved how you made the 1st and last stanzas ao similar, but so different as well, great job!
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I really liked the story in this, and the realization that came with the ending. That everyone needs more than one chance. I also really liked the rhymes, even though I barely noticed that they were at the ends of the stanzas, they flowed very easily into the poem
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
A+wesome
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Powerful!
I can totally identify even though my folks didn't divorce. My Dad & I didn't really spend time together & I grew up not knowing him. This is a wonderful write & you express your emotions quite poignantly! Bravo on this!
I love the fact that you're keeping a diary & that you start & end the way you do keeping the title prominent. The last stanza is done nicely linking with the first! Very fine work. 
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Very Good
There's a lot of emotion in this, it's not a situation I can relate to, but you've expressed it brilliantly, and the rhyme and meter were good. Which I like.
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