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Welcome home

 

 

 

For twenty years she's waited for today,

The foolish rift they caused is at an end.

You never get another chance, they say,

To make a first impression on a friend.

 

They could not understand their only son

And thought he would accept a simple "no."

The things they said just couldn't  be undone,

He packed a case and said "It's time to go."

 

So now the sideboard groans beneath their life,

The fruit and wine that's all they've ever known.

This welcome they denied their son's new wife;

A final chance for parents to atone.

 

The daughter they rejected has come back.

How could they lose their son because she's black?

 

 

Author notes

I often think of a sonnet as a poetical still life, so I thought this ought to be a sonnet, but now I'm not so sure.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • Lyndon gold member
    June 24, 2008

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    a simple "no."=> a simple "no". [Full-stop at end of sentence and not a one word quote.] But, all is forgiven.
    This sonnet with Shakespearean rhyme scheme is metronomically correct in its perfect iambic pentameters.
    Unlike Shakespeare's sonnet sequence, this poem is more narrative than lyrical, with his attendant imagistic progression. Your progression is a relationships story.
    The tenses move with past and future.
    Quatrain one is about the middle-aged couple now. It establishes an incorrect act 20 years back and looks to the present day with anticipation. Past tenses are used.

    Quatrain two follows reflection to the actual day in the past when the rift took place. Past tense is used very plainly.

    The first three lines of stanza three (in present tense) establish a continuing barrenness of heart highlighted by the contrast with the crowded items on the sideboard which spell out welcome and good company.

    The couplet has a righting of wrong. To me it's little hollow in that there is a sense of trade-off and not full acceptance. But, then, perhaps that's the way it is.
    Thank you for a poem that got me going.


  • frownsnfreckles
    June 20, 2008

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    It's an interesting and unusual theme Jeff. Bread and wine being the staff of life and the essence of the communal celebration of togetherness, contrasted with the prejudice of the past. A repasse of much meaning and forgiveness.


  • DeGraw
    June 20, 2008
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    Sidney Poiter

    Guess who's coming to dinner? Just Great!

  • Eusebius
    June 20, 2008

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    bravo

    Ah, you certainly DO have the knack, which is nearly impossible to teach. A finely done sonnet here.... bravo... bravo.. bravo...


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    June 15, 2008

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    It is quite a statement made within this well executed sonnet. Imagine the vision, rich with food, and ever so poor with love.

    I loved your take on this image. Well done. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela


  • BluesMan gold member
    June 3, 2008
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    WOW this one totally caught me off guard. I never expected this from a Still Life. Great message and your rhyme and flow was very good.


  • Sonja
    May 27, 2008

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    It is nice and a great challenge to be in the same race with you. Your sonnet is a novel in the small package. Great write.
    ~Sonja~


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    May 26, 2008

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    Brilliant!!!

    I love this beautifully written, honest, sensitive, and thoughtfully profound message!!! Best of luck in this contest!! Peace, Cyn


  • moonbumps silver member
    May 26, 2008
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    Beautiful write and the flow is spot on as always-I am watching and learning!!
    xxx Hilly


  • crazymomma
    May 26, 2008

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    I don't understand people like this. I love my daughter too much to ever not forgive her. This was so sad. Thanks for sharing


    • cricketjeff gold member
      May 26, 2008
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      I don't think bigotry is ever understandable, at least my (purely imaginary) couple have come to their senses at last.


  • Griswold silver member
    May 26, 2008

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    Nicely done Jeff. Family rifts over race and color are just plain stupid. this works fine as a sonnet. Best of luck...Scott

  • J poet
    May 26, 2008

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    well done

    This poem is written really well and says a lot more than just the words you wrote which i believe fit perfectly. This is unlike any sonnet i've read, and it's definitely one i would read again and again.


  • paullallady silver member
    May 26, 2008

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    This really took me by surprise and I didn't even see it coming, though after reading it again, you did a great job of leading up to it. A very emotional poem and you brought great emotion and frustration to it. great job on this one.

  • ecrivain01
    May 26, 2008

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    Actually ...

    you've done quite a good job with this. The problem is with this line:

    There are some things that cannot be undone, (Some things just cannot be undone)

    and this one:


    How could they lose their son because she's black? (Too much to lose their son because she's black) or (No point to lose their son because she's black)

    other than that, you've nailed it as far as I can see. However, you have to realize that I don't write in iambic pentameter, so the lines might not be iambic. Still, I think if you changed those lines, the poem would be perfect.

    I think that meter stuff is nonsense anyway. Poets wrote poems for thousands of years before some critics decided to define meter and start laying down rules.

    I agree that miscegenation can have terrible consequences, but I find the attitude of the previous poster odd. Who's to say what's right or wrong in that regard. The truth is that all humans come from the same family tree (or they couldn't interbreed), so making such arbitrary distinctions is blatant nonsense. True, I can see some point in preserving a genetic or cultural heritage, but in the final analysis, who people love remains their choice and no one else's. That's not to say that I am in favor of mixed marriages in all cases, any more than I'm in favor of any marriages without the application of some common sense. I believe that life is too short to spend much time arguing over things which are at root arbitrary. You've postulated a situation here, and the solution seems the most sensible to me. Then again, one of my great-grandmothers was a Lakota Sioux Indian. In the final analysis, there is no such thing as a pure race of people anywhere, even the Basques, who have been cut off from the outside for many centuries.


  • Mad Pastor Grovell
    May 26, 2008

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    Miscegenation can have terrible consequences but the good Lord will forgive everyone (even sex-sin with primitive savages) provided you fall down on your knees and pray for help!


  • Gwenevere
    May 26, 2008

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    Somrthing so diferent for thid prompt that takes the breathe away.A very important message within these lines.not just the colur issue but also the fact that we cannot choose who our children marry.They must be allowed the freedom to choose for themselves.A winner in my eyes, Ros


  • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
    May 25, 2008

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    I think it works well as a snnet Jeff
    your thoughts came through well in such a poetic feeling read



    Cindy


  • Amera gold member
    May 25, 2008

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    This is really a beautiful sonnet penned in decasyllable with beautiful meter and rhyme. You did a wonderful job of painting of emotion and family values.

    Love,
    Amera


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    May 25, 2008

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    Very deep piece. In so many ways I can relate to a degree. Luckily my ending is more satisfactory. Losing son/daughter over racial issues is down right ignorant.

    Of course my opinion. I was taught never to date or look at blacks. "they were not right for me"
    I looked at them crazy and of course for a long time, wouldnt even have a friend who was black then one year i met this ol gal in NY. And we hit it off in junior high. Ever since then my eyes and heart stayed open.

    you never know what color will be hosting your best friend.

    Love ya Jeff, this is definately winner.

    Tory


  • breedluv gold member
    May 25, 2008

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    I love this take on the prompt....completely unexpected. Very well thought out and very well crafted.


  • libithina
    May 25, 2008

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    Very well crafted .. judgements made unable to recind .. 'a final chance for parents to atone'
    s Lib xx

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