The ruins stand as lonely as the sky,
perched high above the howling, foaming waves
that wash the sands, they give and then they die,
fall back to sea and storm around the caves.
A gothic landscape cold and deathly gaunt,
forgotten love that whispers on the breeze,
where isolation breathes, the cliffs that vaunt
above the crashing waters of the seas.
While high upon the rocks the ruins rest,
with broken walls that soon return to sand,
where sunset slowly spills out to the west
and desolation falls upon the land;
and where the wild winds tremble restlessly,
the ruins slowly fall into the sea.
In a list
A contest entry
- ruins and castles by Run Rhen Run.
600 points, ended June 7, 2008, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 46 of 46
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Terrific!
This is simply an amazing sonnet! The final couplet was a terrific clincher, but each quatrain held such solid description that it made the scene come to life. Love your use of vocabulary too!
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This feels like a sonnet dedicated to the passing of Time, and the loneliness that can be oft experienced during its passing. Line 4 feels somewhat forced, though, especially after reading
"that wash the sands, they give and then they die,"
Line 4 clashed with me, and (while not drastically) jarred me out of the spell the poem had previously held over me. However, after this line, I was pulled back in.
It was a pleasure reading this. I look forward to reading more from you.
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" a monument to mans immortal hand" is the only problem i see. the poem is enjoyable, well written, and of a topic i enjoy(history), but that particular line is untrue, and throws the whole thing off...whole thing...hole..is our creativity, efforts, work and intellect immortal? the pyramids, are older than Rome...well, so far i'd have to say maybe, to my self(?) posed question. i enjoyed your poem, and will read another. please feel free to reply, if it is possible, i only just now joined this website. my first poem was this one, and thank you.
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Lovely Sonnet. The reader takes the sky to watch sea beat the cliffs. Rocks and ruins aged in rust to fall into the sea. The images evoke strong emotions that the narrator stimulate
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evocative
A gothic landscape cold and deathly gaunt,
Forgotten love that whispers on the breeze,
I think ruins have a fascination for all of us your poem captures some of my own thoughts beautifully. Looking at the tall chimneys of old mines etc one can almost imagine the sounds of machines and voices of the men working. Life, Love, death, these places have seen it all
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I'm intrigued by the irony, or paradox, of lines 11 & 14, which read respectively: "A monument to man's immortal hand....The ruins slowly fall into the sea." Your Shakespearean sonnet captures the snapshot of these ruins beautifully, better than the actual picture. Where are these ruins located?I love the sonnet. In fact, I just had a book of sonnets published.
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As always I am back to read your poetry once again and to applaud it.
~Sonja~
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I love the use of romantic language in this piece! so smooth and full or aromatic desire! You can feel the air and taste the ancient presence in this piece i adore it!
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This sonnet really comes alive,there's such vivid imagery in there. And then there's the ruins of the castle and the ruins of the forgotten love, and the loneliness and isolation of the sky.
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great write
I think the imagery is great, my kind of place.
I listened as i read and the only thing missing was the haunting call of gulls.
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Brrr. It’s cold in that world. You paint a lucid, glacial picture. I shivered as I read it. Good work.
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Beautiful images, beautiful description, I really enjoyed this.
Great write!
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Beautiful sonnet.
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Beautiful
Just one more peice of work of yours that I love! I actually liked the first two lines the best.
"The ruins stand as lonely as the sky,
Perched high above the howling, foaming waves"
Just those two lines alone gave such a wonderful picture in my mind, and made the poem.
Two thumbs up! I'd give you more thumbs up...! but i only have two hands...!
Thanks for sharing!
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a lovely sonnet
You paint a vivid picture with the wording and rhyme. A good write.
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I like the way you blend descriptive writing with a moral of the follies of man. Clever that you open by mentioning the ruin before the mind wanders, drawn away and towards the power of the sea, only to return to the ruin and a description of the effects of the sea, weather on the ruin.
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Oh how I wish I could live in your poems.
Beautiful work.
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this is gorgeous. like a fairytale. i read this poem outloud to my daughter. your words capture the picture beautifully. excellent. - Mary Jo
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Wow, I really like the rhythm of this piece. I love to look at ruins whenever I travel and this really made me feel like I am right there in the scene. This is so delicately and beautifully composed, I feel like the symphony of nature accompanies me on the journey of reading.
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Bandits United
They havn't left me much to say, and I agree with most of it, One nit, I think the use of the word the is overused and it could be a bit tighter without many of them, I counted twelve, I think the flow and theme worth any changes made.
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Bandits United!
Very nice and almost spiritual! Super imagery that really fits the visual image! Well worded with great rhythm and a great pacing length! This poem is a fine example of an abstraction made real in a poem about personal feelings, I think? Good work!
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BANDITS UNITED
What a gorgeous sonnet full of images that rumble with history and lore. You have brought it to life, a beautiful poem.
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Bandit United!
This poem is so well constructed and full of imagery and Life I almost forgot I was reading a sonnet. Your words flow with much ease and grace and the rhyme is as delicate as lace. You really excel in this form, I will have to visit more of your writing. A delight to read, thanks for sharing you wonderful talent here my Bandit Sister.
You have been Spotlighted by your Bandit Family today because WE CARE!
You really should be entering your work in the Bandit contests, the Bandit Auction and add your poems to the Bandit reading list.
Brother Dennis
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Bandits United!
This is a beautiful poem - full of amazing imagery and with a sad, but stunning ending
I really enjoyed this and I thought that it had a great rhythm and rhyme scheme
Keep writing
Polly
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Bandits United
What a cool poem. I really like the picture. Strategically, that would be a good place to put a castle. The cliffs make a good natural defense.
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Bandits United!!
Oh My this is a Beauty of a verse~
Love how You told this tale also the picture accompanied Your words~ Powerful voice
images painted within each line
Excellent!!
Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes in the contest too
with much love & light~ Desire~*~
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BANDITS UNITED: This is your day in the spotlight; enjoy. Liked the picture and the poem just brings it to life. Filled with vivid images and one can almost hear the roar of the water breaking on the rocks and feel the isolation and loneliness you describe. Liked the flow of the lines and the great descriptions you share in these lines.
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Bandits United
Wow this is a beautiful sonnet. I tried to write a sonnet but I have to practice a bit more. This is a great piece. I love the picture too. Great write keep it up.
Always write from the heart
Never give up
Kate
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Bandits United!
Ah...this is lovely. I have to confess I'm not an avid fan of sonnets, but I read this aloud several times and it rolled so smoothly from my tongue I couldn't help but fall in love with it.
Three cheers for a worthy sonneteer!
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BANDITS UNITED !!
A splendid sonnet that takes the reader away to a beautiful place under Heaven's sky. What a beauty you have penned, good poet. 
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Bandits United!
This is so dreamy & romantic with a wonderful flow, imagery & smoothness about it that captures the reader in the flow of the presentation that's vivid & gripping. Your choice of words is excellent & I love the rhyming scheme! Good job here!
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Bandits United!!!
This is a beauty of a poem. Amazing imagery! You have painting a wonderful description with your words, I feel as though I am almost there.
Love & Light
Debbera
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Bandits United!
What a beautiful vocabulary you have used in this timeless poem!
I feel that this belongs published in a book that I can pass down to my grandchildren one day so they can see the beauty of 'real' poetry, not just 'emo'-ish stuff
Stunning write! I am in love with this
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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Bandits United!
A beautiful seaside poem that is vivid in description and strong in its imagery. The action painted completes its essence.
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BANDITS UNITED
Love this. Flow and rhythm are great and it makes me think of castles and kings.
"A gothic landscape cold and deathly gaunt,
Forgotten love that whispers on the breeze,
Where isolation breathes, the cliffs that vaunt
Above the crashing waters of the seas."
Love this verse. Has a haunted feeling to it. Very well written, Poet.
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Bandit United
Great write I can picture the little deails you describe. great imagery.
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A gothic landscape cold and deathly gaunt,
Forgotten love that whispers on the breeze,
Where isolation breathes, the cliffs that vaunt
Above the crashing waters of the seas.
The end line clenched it for me. Wild winds tremble, nice. This is a magnificent example of true poetry. Passion, emotion, grandiosity, but subtle.
Classy.
Jin
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You write with such elegance, it's always a pleasure to read your poems. This was brilliant with excellent flow and imagery.
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It is shining like a star
I see a rock and a big scarp, a sea that is full of sharks, I hear a voice, that is temting, I see a coast blind in the dark and feel my heart, it can´t be empty...
You have it down to a fine art...
:-))) Marek
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Might I ask... where do you get your inspiration? Is there some special person who serves as your muse?
So poetic as usual. So moving.
I am not quoting exactly I'm sure, but Emily Dickinson said something like, "When you read something and it gives you chills, then you know that THAT is true poetry!"
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A monument to WOman's immortal hand
Beneath high above rocks for ruin pride will stand,
'til broken walls, so soon returned to dust,
ressemble microscopic grains of sand
Time takes in thrall, and mocks Man's mortal lust.
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BRAVO! this is fantastic! it flowed very nicely, and the compostiton was fantastic!!! great job sweety!!! i like this on a lot. this is great. ^.^
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Such wonderful imagery you gave this write! Just breath-taking in form and content! And that pic is perfect for these words! Thanks for sharing this!
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The picture amplifies the poem. They will stand on their own. Lovely how foaming waves and washed sands fall into the sea. Graphic description hold the readers attention that ruins stand with broken walls as a momument to an immortal hand. The winds tremble and flow as the ruins fall to the sea.
Wonderfully clear and unobscured so compelling as waves of acient defenders fought, died and returned to the sea.
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a good poem, i like that imagery with the sky being lonely, it is so vast and is full of feathered life yet i can see how it might feel loneliness still. a sad sigh i find here, with the man-made wonder, once full to bursting with life, now empty and falling to the waves. there is a lifespan for everything i suppose, time takes everything.
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Mighty fine
An excellent write for the picture. You take the reader to the very inners of the ruins and make us aware that nothing last forever
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