And every time thereafter,
As it beat futilely,
She felt an ache take her smile
Sometimes she'd glance over
To see if her name was on him
In his eyes or on his lips
All that was left were empty promises
In his dripping, crimson hands
Mingled the blood of countless hearts
And a new starry-eyed victim,
Whose trusting fingers clung to his
Words threatened to shatter her dry throat
Spilling out vehemently to break his lies
Into helpless sputters from busted lips
Still, a tie to love's alibi left her speechless
And she would ache when he was away
Even when all she couldn't see
Were the forsaken pledges
He'd forgotten, leaving her heart to bleed
A clear tear would remind her always
As she lay in her dreams, crying
Over the love she could never leave
Caught in perpetual loss she will not escape
Even with hate ruling her every heart-beat
Pangs cutting off her circulation
Tears drowning out her helpless cries
She still felt his false embrace, saw his fake eyes
Still tied his name to love's empty meaning
Author notes
Wheeeeee ._. poem. It's not much, but I wanted to write something, and this is all my muse would give me
Why is it always playing hide and seek?
Honest opinions, please
Name
Nephlim
A contest entry
- Give me your favorite write by lilblueeyesmine1978.
390 points, ended July 7, 2008, 60 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Purple!
Comments
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Holly crap...who hurt Nephy
I will kill him
I love thi spoem so deep and sad...men are dogs 
-Dustin-

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I liked tis very much thanks for entering and i will be adding this to the finalists list.
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In his dripping, crimson hands
Mingled the blood of countless hearts
And a new starry-eyed victim,
Whose trusting fingers clung to his
Its AMAZING. Honest Opinion: I'm freaking jealous of you cuse you are a better writer than I am.



xD
I love it, once again. I love ALL of your poems. The descriptions you use and the imagery, its all perfect and flawless. Can't wait to read the next!!

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Woooooooooooooooow!!! I loved it sho sho mushhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
It was really sad and stuff but nearing the end I couldn't help but think of Kiyo-chan for some strange reason (Kiyo-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!! I looooooooove youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!)
My fav fav fav part was:
In his dripping, crimson hands
Mingled the blood of countless hearts
And a new starry-eyed victim,
Whose trusting fingers clung to his
Beautiful!!! <3 it very much, but I hope you feel beter from whatever your muse was doing to you...

Naoto


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i love this one, i just got down reading all your poems and i think this one is my favorite... You seem like the kind of person that has been hurt a lot, and you just really know what your talking about when it comes to the TRUE WORD " LOVE "


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Wow..K it says to give an honest opinion? Well here's your honest opinion. I think this was really real. The last two lines of the first stanza were amazing. I loved it. And I don't think that anyone who reads this will be let down or disappointed..
Great Job Love.

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I don't know what's with your author's notes. This is a great piece and one you should be proud of! The story flowed well from beginning to end. I was not disappointed.


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Haha, stinking muse, Im gonna go on strike against it one of these days... This is a really great poem, with Buckets of feeling, and lovely stuff like that. Nice job!


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Loved it!
"Words threatened to shatter her dry throat
Spilling out vehemently to break his lies
Into helpless sputters from busted lips
Still, a tie to love's alibi left her speechless"
What wonderful imagery! If this is all the muse would give you this day, I'm entranced by what could be on another!

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Johnny De Good
My Dearest Darling "John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schimdt",
Well this one guy is the perfect one to ask that "Testicle Q"... And when he fails to answer it, imagine the protagonist knee-kicking this dude's crotch and his testicles coming out of his mouth one after the other... And him to faint after saying "You Win!", just like in the movie "Hot Shots! Part Deux"
And this better not be real...
If this is really happening, then seriously consider the aforementioned suggestion... Do the "Hot Shots! Part Deux".
Honestly this will make a good Blues (good poetry makes good blues) song... something I would love to hear in the voice of BB King or Blind Lemon Jefferson (ha ha thanks to 'Black Snake Moan'
), Jimi Hendrix.
Anyway I'm digging it majorily!!!
'John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schimdt' FAN,
Mayank.


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ha, at least oyur muse is only playing hide and seek. mine has gone on strike.
Anyway, I like this piece. it pretty much describes how i was feeling about love not too long ago.
such sad and (not being funny here or anything) adult feelings are really really prodominant in this piece. a good job.
Anyway, hugs
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The furst line sounded a little bit awkward to me. And when you rhymed in some places, it threw off the flow, but overall, it was pretty good.
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Neph,
I know this sounds silly since I'm only, what, two years older than you? But, the way you write, is astounding to me. Your words flow so well and so gracefully, that, I'm sure it's hard to believe for some people that you're only as old as you are. A beautiful write, thank you for sharing. Luffles joo nephiroth
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Ah, I meant that in the sense that your stanzas seem to have a flowing/sonnet-like feel, yet end quickly and without a rhyme. To me, it was much more dramatic.
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Booooooo. How can I critique something that is near perfect? I really don't have much to say. Uhh,... I loved your word choices/usage. You painted some wonderful images.... The one thing that worked best about this piece was how a lot of the stanzas ended abruptly. It was a unique and impacting choice. Great write.


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very powerful
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Astounding! This is an awesome piece. Thank you for sharing with all of us.


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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i jst simply think its AMAZING ...=)

















