Oh, Santa, this year, as you fly through our cities,
Remember me, who's been nice and not mean;
Give me this, a couple handfuls of Raven Simone's titties,--
Better yet, let's wait until she's eighteen.
In the meantime, until next year, this I will take:
A bottle, a case! of Colt 45 forties,
Some good weed, a midnight skinny dip in a lake
With the Olsen twins making me scream, "Oh Lordy, Lordy!"
How about some acid hits, alter my perception?
Maybe some hits from a pipe, yes, that would be peachy,
Else tear away lies, free me from deception,
If you can't let me shoot all over Christina Ricci.
Well, Santa, something like that, as you well should know,
Or else, just this once, for Christmas, bring me snow.
Author notes
Okay, this is not a sonnet.
And I can just imagine the outraged comments about the banality with which I treat this most special holiday. You know what? Just take a joke and laugh. Not everything's supposed to be serious 
.
Merry Christmas!
- Giovanni
Written December 24th, 2003
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1 - 7 of 7
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you big pervy man
lmao i liked this - would have prefered similar things for my xmas (although males in places of the females you mention and stuff... err... yeah) lmao
He he he he he he he he
Take Care
Hayley x x x x xx -
Ok, completely hilarious! Enjoyed the honesty in it, although some of it IS a bit disturbing!
~angella -
funny and odd
Yeah, Gio.....dirty, diry old man....I hope you got snow. ROFLMAO. I have absolutely no problem with the poking holes in the sanctity of the Santa myth - it's the pedophilia that has me a bit bothered. Now, I'd have had absolutely no problem if you'd asked for a couple of handfuls of Cher's titties (although we all know they're fake) or even Julia Roberts' (which are probably real) but....geez, Louise, leave the infants alone, wouldja! I'm guessin' it was all part of the joke....which I'm suspecting is more "on" your readers than "for" them.....n'est ce pas? At any rate, thanks for sharing this very funny pedophilic Christmas carol.
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ROFL...
Liar... You were supper mean to me this year.... Dear Santie please do not grant Gio's Wish because he was mean to your favourite Seraph
Yep the Seraph1885 thats me. 
Ciao and Merry Xmas and a Happy New year
Love
Mal -
lol, that's some funny shit right there!
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HAHAHAHA Very funny! LMAO okay bye!
~*Misty*~
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Funny.
Edited on Dec 24, 6:50 p.m. because ''.
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