Bella sits so regally
regards me from her chair.
my persian is my guardian,
i brush her silky hair.
skittering! alertness
something she abhors
nemesis: a spider
skitters 'cross the floor.
who will truimph? who will live?
will kitty earn her keep?
watching now, with bated breath,
as cautious feline creeps.
the spider, ach! so hideous!
terrific in its speed,
black and hairy, many eyes
glares malicious greed.
weapons drawn, the fight begins,
i nibble at my nails
seized by fright, exhilarated
see which contender fails.
bella strikes, the spider feints,
and runs toward liberty,
the gap beneath dear kitty's chair
beckons victory.
but cat will have no part of this,
defies arachnid will,
she pounces, bats it with her paw
until the spider's still.
triumphant, meowing, she has won!
the dreaded foe is dead,
i give her bits of tuna
for saving me from dread.
Author notes
Can good and evil live together? not in my house.
A contest entry
- Good v.s. Evil by darlintlc.
450 points, ended May 28, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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*reads again* awesome! reminds me of a pokemon battle! XD
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Lol. Nice. You keep up the playful, mocking intensity throughout. I ph34r3d for Bella, briefly.
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sorry I haven't commented on this sooner...
This is just, delightful in every way. (although I would definitely note Larry's suggestions)
Good imagery in this one:
'weapons drawn, the fight begins,
i nibble at my nails
seized by fright, exhilarated
see which contender fails.'
I can picture this so well. haha
and this one flows really well and catches my eye:
'but cat will have no part of this,
defies arachnid will,
she pounces, bats it with her paw
until the spider's still.'
See, you rarely write rhyming poetry, but you do it so well!
<3<3<3
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Lovely.
I really like your rhythm and meter. I would take 'see' out of 5 and change 'toward' to 'for' in 6. Maybe from 'tuna' to 'tuna-fish' in the last one too to make it flow purrfectly. Great read anyhow. -
Very playful take on good v.s. evil!! I was so cheering for Bella..I hate spiders but am afraid to hurt them! ha!
"the spider,ach! So hideous!
terrific in its speed,
black and hairy, many eyes
glares malicious greed"
Yep..that's the spider!!
Thanks for entering "and" for reading the rules!
good luck
darlintlc
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I enjoyed the read. The rhyming isn't silly at all. Unless, you believve that rhyming in general is silly. It gives this poem a playful meter. Good Work!
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this is so cute. very good darling, i think it is awesome.
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haha this is cute
magnificent rhyme and flow and it made me smile!!! haha
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