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A Flaw

Messy thoughts fly back & forth

Devious words etched clearly

In a brittle heart of complexity

 

Fragile fingers can barely handle

The deafening rants that endlessly

Flow from ink to pen

& pen to paper

 

Exhausted mind soaked with

A defeated fatigue

Crocodile tears can never

Solve the equation of anxiety

 

But it helps a little to write it all down

Trying hard to pen the meaning

Of the charade of life

Blocking out lavender secrets

That hurt from the inside out

 

The human body burns

With the burden of

Secrets

Change

Love

A lie

 

A flaw in every perfect dream

Author notes

the mind of a writer...x

"Break a knot in my mind." -- "Shivers" by Armin Van Buuren

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    September 12, 2008

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    Captured wonderfully. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.

    ♥
    whisper

  • She Stole My Voice
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a well written piece;
    I like it.
    Thank you for entering and good luck :]
    ♥


    -Rainbow.


  • fairytalelovestory
    September 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    what a really beautiful poem you have penned here good luck.

  • OhNoChastity
    July 1, 2008

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    I like the take on this prompt. It was interesting, and I think everyone here as a writer can relate to that. I find it very creative that instead of writing about writer's block, you wrote about the writer and what makes the writer. It was interesting, and I liked the stream of consciousness.

    I liked the sort of funnel that you did with the words in the end. It was very pretty to the eyes, and I think it gives an impression of something being poured out, like spilling words onto canvas. I don't know if this was done on purpose, but it's a really cool quirk.

    "Blocking out lavender secrets that hurt from the inside out" I love this line. I'm not sure what the meaning of lavender is here, but the rest seems important to me. This is a strong description of a strong emotion, and because of this, important. It's important that you brought this up, because it's this part of the shows up in their writing.

    My only suggestion would be to possibly not capitalise every line. I think it could be a bit more creative like that, and it's a bit distracting. It's not really a problem, and it's definitely a writer's choice, and I'll admit, I have a bias because I used to do that, and I feel like I grew when I stopped, but that's all for suggestions, I really like this piece.

    Thank you so much for entering and keep up the good work. I really hope to see more from you in the future.


  • Shya
    June 28, 2008

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    A beautiful and accurate description of what goes on inside a wqriter's mind... good job! It flows well. Good description..."crocodile tears", for example. A unique poem. Thanks for entering my contest!


  • Blooming Poet
    June 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OHH my I really like the unique path as a theme you choose to go for this poem. It really rocks. Thanks.

1 - 7 of 7