Just yesterday I was employed,
the darling of my beau
The looking glass was rosy then
the pricks, they did not show
All came to naught and fell apart,
the roses are quite dead
My love of life, she left me there
for some old rich man’s bed
Oh woe is me I know not where
the good times all have gone
The lawyers say, “Don’t worry, sir
but do not go back home”
I tried my hand at poetry
and sermons from the bible
To wit, to write, too soon to print
got me sued for libel
I thought it best to change my course
and sail on different seas
To find a port of last resort
and save my sanity
But I was wrong, it took too long
the shrinks have now agreed
For Mr. Long we have a room
but who will pay our fees?
Another day is food for thought
a bellyache for me
Perhaps I’ll find another line
to wait on surplus cheese
Author notes
Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
In a list
A contest entry
- Another Great Whine Out by pattyann4500.
1700 points, ended June 5, 2008, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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LOLOLOLOLOLOL I loved it your going to wait for your surplus cheese. I thought that was to funny. It was a pleasure to read.
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Clever! Written in your usual rhyming flare. You are the best storyteller ever! I loved the second to last stanza best Leo. I had to chuckle, not at your distress but at the mess that life can sometimes turn into. Excellent!
Much Love Always ♥
Renee
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Better watch that cheese; it's be sure to stop you up like cement!!!!
This is really good, Leo, but I have a hard time laughing when I know most of it's true. Of course, I can understand the shrink part. You'll need to find some bucks to pay for that. 
Thanks for entering, my friend. Patricia 
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I have to agree with April on this one. She said it perfectly. But to add, whether this be actual or not you have the ability to give the impression it is and always add humor. You have the ability to laugh at yourself and it is that that keeps us sane. You make lemonade with a tang!
Resemblence? Well, that is about half of the population from both sides of the fence. Except that more times than not the bed isn't as rich as one thinks it is.
~Michelle~
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Knowing you Leo, I tried to figure this one out. If it's about your life then I haven't heard it all.
Oh well at least your writint.
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Now now, Leo ...
between seriousness and humor, you left your reader in mid-air: to sympathize, or to laugh! Your narritives read so well, but often the message is so sad.
It is about time you turn your life around, Poet!
Blessed be.
Myra
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Alone again ...
naturally ... and while sadder tales have been shared, it's always a good rule of thumb to remember "to everything there is a purpose under heaven" ... I appreciate your sincerety in sharing of this poem. joy
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Great ironic presentation here; it's a sad situation explained in a way that makes the reader laugh a little. For some reason, I'm reminded of the movie Fight Club, because it has that same sort of "should we laugh?" feel...and this poem has a cinematic edge to it. You didn't rhyme it flawlessly, but I don't even care because the rhythm flows consistently, except on the line "for a rich man's bed." It needs one more preliminary syllable...perhaps "all for a rich man's bed," or "for some rich bastard's bed," haha...something like that.
Anyway, I won't drag you into my nitpicking, because this was very well-written. Its strength lies in its tone and its irony, as I mentioned before. Good luck in the contest.
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Ha!!
I guess I shouldn't laugh at your troubles but...
"All came to naught and fell apart,
the roses are quite dead
My love of life, she left me there
for a rich man's bed"
Soooooo funny!!
good luck in the contest!
darlintlc
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Is that Red Whine or Chardonay Whine?
Good one Leo! Your emotions show in this. I liked how your story went in this. THANKS!!!
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