My heart throbs, thumps,
throbs, thumps,
throbs and thumps...
Long did it lost its rhytmic beatings,
beats, plops, beats, plops,
plops, beats, plops, beats...
I can hear every sound it makes,
and in every sound, did it hurt my ears...
I can feel the pounding of my chest,
till it break every line of my ribs,
till it explodes and pounds again...
painstakingly, seeping my life away...
I wish, that in every throb that I can feel,
in every thump that I can hear
in every pound that I can't bear...
I wish I could shed a tear,
for a tear could start a good rhythm that my hear yearns for,
for a tear could make me humane, sane, sane...
But one thing that this throbbing, thumping, pounding heart taught me,
is never make your eyes drop a single tear
never make your eyes linger any single tear,
never let your eyes close for just a single tear
Because, this throbbing, thumping, pounding heart of mine knows,
it knows that my ears won't hear the happy rhythm of it, [never again]
it knows that my nose won't sniffle because be crying, [never again]
it knows that my skin wouldn't feel a drop of tear, nor a cry of river that I could make
For in any moment from now,
any moment from now,
any moment from now,
it'll explode!
explode!
explode!
and my heart would be shattered into pieces,
but every piece would still throb,
every piece would still thump,
every piece would still pound,
and maybe ,
just maybe,
that in every throbbing, every thumping, every pounding of my shattered heart,
would make a rhythm that only me, [yes, only me]
only me could dance with the beat, in the beat and still keep my broken sanity...
Author notes
a broken sanity - could you still call it sane?
-i love this because I really think that i wrote all of my feelings out here...
hope you also like this one...
A contest entry
- Emotions by satan-.
950 points, ended July 14, 2008, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your favorite Prewrite by SignifyingNothing.
875 points, ended August 9, 2008, 112 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me feel (pre-writes allowed) by Shacadia Shay.
410 points, ended September 10, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Teens & Young Adults by DAMSELx.
300 points, ended August 30, 2008, 101 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hiden saddness by HatedLoveDieingRose.
422 points, ended March 2, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
~*~ i would love if there would be somthing to be written down here ~*~
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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very good
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~*~
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your welcome & thank you
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this is a fantastic poem i could sort of see & feel the hear beating & as for not allowing yourself to cry i can relate to. a strong well written poem, with only a few minor mistakes.
on a critics level. 2nd paragraph line 2 lost should be lose & 3rd paragraph line 2 makes little sense. last line 4th paragraph also. & could you please go back & read the rules your missing my symbol.
thank you for entering my contest , i wish you the best of luck.
--Blessed be--
Shacadia Shay -
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oh, thanks for a critical review...
haha, i am really trying to find someone who would review something like that to any of my poems...
and I would edit it as soon as now...
and sorry for that since english is really not my primary language, so I'm trying my best to write a good piece with a touch a perfection on it...
regarding your symbol ~*~ , did I do it right?
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Wow, you should be really proud of this. It has a flow that is well beyond your years. You seem very deep, it's harder in this word for those with hearts. It feels like what you described here. Nicely done.
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Ah..what a inteinsity you are herewith to bring the sentiments into the words of this wonderful poem..wonderful peom you brought here my friend..well done...
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Wow. This is powerful. I am impressed. In this case, I actually like the repetition. The way you kept the heartbeat going. I love the way you structured this. And I love the ending too. It gives a bit of hope in an otherwise dark poem. I like how there is that bit of strength and independent spirit shining through. Those last three lines are just stunning. I am usually not a huge fan of this type of poetry, but this one I like.
Great job and thanks for entering. -
Love the onomatopoeia in this piece, it really brings out your point strongly. Sanity is a fragile thing, since at any time, you could simply just lose it and never find it again. Your poem is very subtle, and leaves a lot to interpret. Nicely written, thanks for entering!
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