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O' Death
Defeated, today victory remains in these hands
O' death, where is thy sting?
Catching time at all the wrong moments
Trying to grab a soul, and make it just a memory
Dream it away
Death may have come knocking on doors for ages
Refuse to answer and live lives as storybook pages

Don't take yes for an answer
Especially when the formulated plan
Has humanity in shackles
So far from the original, change of plans
it seems

O' death, where is thy sting
If this was the best time to capitalize
on desires and schemes, of which in death's name
were formulated
This mind and heart of one broken vessel would like to know
"Which way is the exit?"
 
 

Author notes

Lowercase Prelude
OPTION 1:: Death. In some form or another describe death, from the side of those committing to, those unexpected, and such and so forth. NOTHING HAPPY ( like, oh he's in a better place)

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Soten-Jaganshi
    September 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    great imagery and an interesting poem, to boot.
    I like this take on the prompt.
    Good luck and thanks for entering.


  • crazymomma
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very descriptive write with good imagery. I liked the part about when death comes knocking don't answer. I think in this line:
    "If this was the best time to capitalize
    on desires and schemes, of which in death's name" it maybe should be capitolize. This is good. Thanks for entering and good luck


  • FloridaGatorQueen silver member
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is actually a cool poem. I never thought about death in this way before. Enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.


  • movedon
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ONLY two HM from all the contests this is in?? I wish you luck in those that haven't ended, because this is a wonderful write, and at least deserves a silver.

    Warmest,
    Mylee


  • XXxXBassMeisterxXxX
    July 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "Thank you for the beautiful entry to my contest,
    I really love this poem and how you speak of death,
    Defeated, I like how you grab the soul and make it a memory
    I like also how you have described the heart as a broken vessel and I love the way you ask “which way is the exit” very deep as always keep up the wonderful writing, ~ Amy" Yes i did steal that comment jut becauzse i am too lazy to type that much. I liked how you spoke to and through death. Great write.


  • peridotPixi
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the beautiful entry to my contest,
    I really love this poem and how you speak of death,
    Defeated, I like how you grab the soul and make it a memory
    I like also how you have described the heart as a broken vessel and I love the way you ask “which way is the exit” very deep as always keep up the wonderful writing, ~ Amy


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    July 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like this, I just like it.


  • Blooming Poet
    June 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful poem here. I understand how hard the requirements were, but you did an amazing job as always.


  • BlackSwan
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ohhhh this poem is so morbid >.<
    BUT! I really liked it!
    Mainly because it was written so well and sparked my imagination. great write.


  • Luna Tique Fringe
    May 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    well you know what..I concur with the comment below..
    thanks for entering.


  • Puking Faerie Dust gold member
    May 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I agree, this had a very lyrical sense to it. I felt the ending could have been a bit stronger. Also, I specifically asked no rhyme in my contest, but I'll let it go, since it was only two lines. The descriptions and imagery were nice, and your diction was really good. Thank you for entering, and good luck
    Jeanette*~


  • Abby Apathy. silver member
    May 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very lyrical, and it has a fantastic flow. my favorite so far.

    Abby


  • Cannonsfire
    May 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very clever and witty look at death and I do like the last line as a question, it makes the reader have a long think on things in their life. Love, Chez

1 - 14 of 14