At the back door of a church on Sunday
In an alley off of St. Andrews, again
Beating off the cold stink he is waiting
For father to find him a hot viand & coat.
Wait son, do not yet close thy eyes.
Silently, he eats with both hands faster
Than it takes the priest to swallow along -
- With him; The staticy-air becomes tolerable;
As both decide to loosen up the other's collar.
Wait son, do not yet close thy eyes.
Underneath a full moon -- Still dusking.
He notices that brother and sister are sharing -
- The same sky; Just as the fire drowns down
Into a dark blue expanse of ripples and heart-ache.
Wait son, do not yet close thy eyes.
Hungry again, but too exhausted to search
Any further than the edge of a playground -
- Near the beach, and his Father's Mission
Bells sing to him, tonight he shall find sleep.
Now son, you may close your own eyes.
Author notes
Some infamous dead male prostitute.
Written December 24th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Write Me Something With The Kiss Of Death by Be My Rushmore.
310 points, ended October 2, 2005, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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I thought it was going to be about cardboard from the title. It wasn't was it?
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Wow!! This is reeeeally great! Thanks so much for entering my contest!! Best of luck to you in it,
.::Hannah::.
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wow....it's really pretty!! i like it a lot!! the whole thig is just so magical...and such! keep it up!!
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"Even better than your first too"? What the fuck does that mean, Oh I see,
You're trying to form a complete thought and failing miserably, brilliant. -
I am stuck here with a keyboard.... a whole bunch of words and the knowledge that they're going to come out as gibberish. I can't come up with a word for what you captured here.. ( for me ) ..reality...yes, but. that's not ..cutting it, it's something more... maybe it has to do ..with the fact that an old friend of mine...found his way to the streets... and that death.. hell I don't know.. Ace.. this is..
~~Lisa/whims -
Hmmm... I like the content and the tone.. a lot. Are you interested in revising this? The punctuation is a bit, scattered. Overall, good concept.
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I'm speechless...all I can say is:AMAZING!
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Now this piece is much more soft than the other one, but I like both. I think you have a variety here that makes it fun to read your work. You mix it up and throw us about, very unpredictable. I am glad that I got to meet you. I have heard a lot about you horus. It's nice to finally have the opportunity to say something to you work. I like this piece. Delicate and very soothing.
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Will my vagina fit in yours'? It's terribly vast... mine that is.
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Your eyes...Those damn hypnotic eyes...
I sit in the dark sometimes, bare flesh against this neonic glow of your words wanting to face you, sitting on your lap as you hit this joint and I take you inside of me... no rude reply, dear, just getting out how inticing I find you... -
The boy is a young male prostitute. I rarely write poems about female prostitutes. The one you read yesterday was an exception. I stick mainly with male prostitution; as in this case.
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another breathtaking peice
once again, what can i say, great write, though i am very confused how this poem fit into this category (your list) maybe someday you can explain that to me. goddess bless
keep up your amazing work.
Loves,
Kat -
My sister wrote a story like this once.
Even better than your first too, which is a great feat. This is what I was looking for, yes. Lines 12-13 were really something special. Don't stop writing.
Yeah, yeah, and thanks for entering.
~Hannah~ -
Very Very Very Good
J'ai aimé ceci. Il a été très bien remonté. Très vif et wather
frightning que ceci se produit acually dans notre société. Je ne
peux pas attendre pour lire plus de vous mon ami.
Jusqu'à la fois prochaine,
Lilli
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good poem. i dont know what else to say about it but nice work. thanks for entering and good luck!
-britt -
..about you? I'm guessing it's not but yeah. I enjoyed reading it.
good-luck
Steph
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great job. Good luck in the contest.
Though I'm fighing against you... *points at the fact that I have yet to win anything* I'm such a loser lol
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This is wonderful writing. Drawn into its atmosphere of dread and betrayal. What a fabulous writer you are. One of the reasons for running this is because I am lazy and instead of hunting through this site for the good writers, I am hoping they will enter and come to me. You could well prove this to be correct if all entries are of this standard.
David
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captivating
i like this style.what is it.this really held me captivated.you come off as a very unique individual to me.your aura can be felt in your write.it's a peaceful aura.good luck -
Please note modification to rule 1 & 2. If you enter two prewrites there has to be a third orginal.
David -
Thank you for fixing my typo.
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any further then the edge of a playground "than the edge" ?
Thanks for entering
David
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