In the shadows it lies and wait,
For you to pass and make a mistake.
In the darkness of a dream,
It will want to hear you scream.
The saddness of everyday life,
It follows you no matter where you go.
How many times have you run,
From the pain and the blows.
Beaten down,
No matter how low you feel.
You want to hide,
From the real world.
How many times as it lies and wait for you to make a mistake?
Death will come,
For those that seek death.
Sooner or later,
Fate will see it through.
But if you truely want to live,
May you seek the light,
And the shadows will pass soon.
A contest entry
- Whatever..just make it good. [astonish me] by borrowing.moonlight.
1000 points, ended June 30, 2008, 160 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Left me confused
In the end you speak of death but there's no transition to it, its like its a seperate piece. Also you could fix a lot by changing some grammatical errors, even in the title. It should be either It lies and waits, or it lies in wait. The latter being my choice but either would work. Also, was Sadness the subject, because that is all I could put together. -
eh this was okay i thought the background was annoying lmfao
for me, i thought the image of death was a little too cliche but that is just me as i see death as a dark and amazingly beautiful thing.
well anyways thank you for your entry..
good luck -
I agree with you..your words are revealing the truth of the life..I love the message ...well done..and thanks for sharing such a wonderful write...
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I am impressed with the message and theory you are revealing here to bring its universal tone..this is just wonderful task you did..well done....
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Death will come,
For those that seek death.
Sooner or later,
Fate will see it through.
But if you truely want to live,
May you seek the light,
And the shadows will pass soon.
very true and hopeful i loved this piece it is a well written piece with lots lots of answers to those who seek them . thank you for sharing i loved this one .please keep writing you truly have talent
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