(To be sung in a drunk Scottish accent)
I was playing guitar
With my friend one day
We had come from the bar
and we were totally gay.
He passed me the roach
So I gave it the clip
As he fetched us a coach
I hitched up my slip.
He said, "Chuck I'm in love"
I said "Blaine, but with who?"
He said, "Chuck with an SUV".
I said, "God Blaine you're shrew!"
Then we both got a spank
Of some skank in our veins
He said, "Chuck, you're so swank".
I said, "I can't complains".
Then he bent me to the grill,
and I thrust up me duff
When he popped, was I shrill?
Like a powder well puffed.
"Lord Chuck, you're hung,
and your ass is so tight
I will pay you twice more
If you gank me forth right":
Which I then did with a twirl
and a well loaded cosmic spling
Of brilliant off coconut cream
Montreal transvestite screams.
He said, "Chuck you're a pill"
I said, "You should meet Bill"
He said, "You're kidding BILL'S GAY?!"
I said, "Of this I am sure, but only if paid."
Author notes
Red Hots by Robert Johnson
Written December 24th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Homosexual Erotica by SinningSaint.
300 points, ended October 3, 2005, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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Hahahaha! Thanks for entering my contest, sorry I it took me so long to comment on these entries. I'm having problems finding internet access. (I'm actually in a store as we speak) I must say I enjoyed your entry, it was indeed as crude as it was funny. I especially enjoyed the last few lines, they made me giggle. Well done.
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that makes me laugh...good job thank u for entering my contest :-)
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Oh, god, that's cute. I love it!! Great meter, I'd like to hear that song someday.
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Then he bent me to the grill,
and I thrust up me duff
When he popped, was I shrill?
Like a powder well puffed.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL...Jesus, matey, darnt nuthin' ye won't say or doo?? Lordy Begarlened, I'm still pissin' me lucky charms!
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HOW SACK RELIGIOUS!!!! Oh no ya don't buds... no one uses the
well loaded cosmic spling in vain... not in no den of iniquity I HANG OUT out in... that is. I charge thee with blastphlemy... greatest sin of a snot nosed punk there is.
Edited on Jan 18, 3:54 p.m. because 'can't spell I'm so disturbed'. -
It was my way of being honestly amusing, but unless you've spent a better part of your life fucking various rich asshats
Like I have for money, you'd never get it. -
delusional
I think you're maybe TOO straight to get what my
Poem had to do with your contest, but I'll tell you
Anyway, the male hustler AKA cabana boy
Uni bar stripper, canadian monster, chip and
dale dancer are all rather more fond of men
than women because men tip better, and are
less of a headache, savvy? I would know I was a
male prostitute for a decade, LMAO!!!!! 11!!!!! 11!!!!
Edited on Jan 18, 1:56 p.m. because ''. -
this was hilarious!! but not sure what it had to do with the contest...
but damn funny none the less thanks for entering and best of luck!!
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This was a very funny write.. andI have to say saying it out loud in a scottish accent is much better.. Thanks for entering the contest
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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I tried it without the Scottish accent on the second read and it was no where near as effective.
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Funny LOL
This was just funny. You've got a good write. Well done!!! -
This was really funny, but I see nothing about fey here....lol
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where are the fairies??
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Interesting twist realy interesting defently unike. LOL great job though I got a laugh out of it.
~Hippie~ -
Lol fabulous.... but please please put the photo number and the quote in ur author page
lol
Great job, and good luck.
-Adam -
haha! I could see that now!
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of brilliant off coconut cream..i love biscuits me
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Lmao! That was horrible! *spanks you* Bad! Lol.
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LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!cute hee
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Lovely story. You're so...
wait, I'll think of something
... -
Great ending hahaha and coming from Montreal, thanks for the advertsitisng another humorous snippet of life Horus*. Just can't get over the ending
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lol! this is a really really funny poem! i like the way you did this! very awesome write!
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I WAS LDOMCL! ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY! Go on, write a book!
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shit.... I thought it was funny!!!
chuck needs a spanky... ::sniggers::
J~~~ -
WEE this poem was funny! well written i love the language. its very poppy and jumpy and happy i enjoyed it much.
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O jesus...hung huh...i love how you did soo much work that you gave me a pre-write....thanks....not that i donj't want to anally fuck this lovely pre-write but hmmmm actually i think i will *thrusts into the computer*...well that miserably failed realized comps have no asses...ehhh what ever...beautiful poem Chuck's hung huh...that's scarey becuase my grandpas's name is chuck...so now i've go the bad images. O well beautifully writtin poem should be published for the world's best trash can to see...Jorgie would love it.
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En gaurde
Umm..I don't think...eternal motivation....uhh...Nah, wouldn't do nun o' that..
But I believe it could make you rethink every word you put in the poem for fear of the onslaught of the all the he-she fans armed with rubber dicks who just want a..."autograph"... ~_^ -
Why, would you hurt my feelings? Would you make me question my eternal motivations? Would you make me squat naked on a dildo shaped magical chrome toaster?
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No..just...no
I really don't think you want me to comment on this
truthfully..
I think I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut and tell you that this scarred me for life...
Edited on Jan 25, 1:40 because ''. -
Hm . . . I'm sorry, but I don't see how this fits in with my contest rules. You really do have a talented eye for rhyme scheme and flow though. Thanks for entering
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lol...bad richard gere movie, probably. it was interesting, to say the least. i found humor in it. good luck in the contest.
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'of this i am sure but only for pay....'
hmm, oddly this one remindes me of someone...
arden -
tight
reminds of a bad richard gere movie...that i really liked. -
very... odd. although, it does make me think of many guys that i know... (maybe i should meet some new guys....?) a very comical write. very nice.
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hmmmm....different...
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great
hahaha. that was great! i loved it!
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