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Substance Chastises Style

smoothing out the rough edges of hell
so the cowards and nut-jobs
can believe they, too, are "special"
and justify their worthlessness
by romanticizing it in your words
as if living in abject ignorance
in a love affair with depravity
based on the high quality of your despair
shows self sacrifice and honor

 

in the "gimme-gimme" Paris Hilton world
of any attention is good attention
they will sit outside your door
whores to the cynical cries of
it's not my fault, God made me this way

 

like Penelope's gluttonous suitors
gorging on your heaping trash bags
of discarded compassion and hope
oblivious to Odysseus bow
being strung to fill them
with arrows of a type of truth
not contained in the smoothed out version

                       how utterly shocked they will be
                       to find you were a liar

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

This is what I think of the poets who do not accept responsibility for the content of their writing, and simply focus on the style. I love to read Richard Brautigan, Charles Bukowski, and Sylvia Plath, but they were self-abusive people who made self-indulgence seem somehow romantic. I like their poetry, but I doubt I would like them as people at all.

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1 - 6 of 6

  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    May 26, 2008

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    Ahh but poetry can be an escape from reality, so should we judge people by their poetic words... of course it always comes from a part of us... yet can often misrepresent the truth of us.


  • 2lullabyhaven
    May 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, didn't know you had it in you hahaha wow, I am speechless to say the least lol and good luck in the contest lol


  • cheaphotelsign
    May 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    what a crock!...i'm kidding. love "love affair with depravity"..."oblivious to Odysseus bow
    being strung"...lol that's awesome. dang, P...this is pretty heavy...but a great read. the end is flawless... and, lest we forget...i suck, so none of this comment really means jack. well done!

  • CandaceVaughn
    May 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Indeed but to blame God for making you a whore is absurd. I know that wasnt the point to this piece but to think that is pure disgust. God made each of in a way to share with others techiques so to speak that we are lacking in.
    I actually think people who are hard on themselves show strength and dignity. This piece made me think of a whole line of things but I will not bore you.

    And I must say, I agree with Amera, alot of people will miss the message.
    Maybe not, I have this crazy gal pondering hard on it

    Candace


  • HaleyMary
    May 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was a great write. I think it's much better to focus on the content of a poem more so than the style. I mean, poets like Amera and Dalaney can use style and content equally well, but for most poems, I prefer seeing a message conveyed in the writing and not simply just rhyme or a freestyle poem on paper. I haven't read any of the poet's work you mention in the author notes, I have heard of Bukowski, but have never read any of his work. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.

1 - 6 of 6