Restrained in chills of certain dull
by dampened bars that hold you back.
Darkness gives the air a hush,
and nothing for your eyes but black.
Tired; bored with where you stand --
it's often feuds that disappoint.
The wicked spell has taken hold,
and has you searching for a point.
Yet as this dusk engulfs the mind,
and thieves the hope within your sight --
Beyond the cell and past the lock,
a distant candle shines its light.
This glowing love destroys the fear,
and shapes a brighter, better start:
Too far away for you to grasp,
yet never closer to your heart.
I know we've had our share of bad,
but I would say there's still a spark.
The light will look much brighter now
that we have triumphed through the dark.
Author notes
Symbiosis - to live together; a condition in which two animals, two plants, or a plant and an animal live in partnership.
My relationship has been a little shaky recently, so I decided to write this poem and express both "hope" and "positivity." The title, "Symbiosis," refers partially to the need of one another in our relationship. It also partially refers to the metaphors of light and dark; showcasing that you can't really have one unless you've experienced the other (partnership).
What does this poem mean to you?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
Thank you for explaining in the author notes
I was a little bit confused, but I see how this fits now. This was a really nice idea. However, the rhyme seemed just a little bit forced sometimes. Thank you for entering!
-
-
Hmmm.... could you help me out by telling me whereit sounds forced?
-
-
'Yet as this dusk engulfs the mind,
and thieves the hope within your sight --'
I love that...*finalist*
You could be whatever you like... hmm... stalker under family tree looks incredibly positive
we'll figure something out
♥
-
Lovely
wow, its got everything... logical point, good explanation of said point, rhyme, rythm, great job with this one, I cant see you not winning the contest with it.
-
Loved it
This was really, really good, the rhyme and meter were perfect, and the metaphor running through the piece was brilliant. Honestly stunning poem.
-
excellent poem...your meter is spot on. Have you tried your hand with sonnets?
-
This glowing love destroys the fear,
and shapes a brighter, better start:
Too far away for you to grasp,
yet never closer to your heart.
I just absolutely loved this
stanza for some reason.
It was my favorite. Not that the
others were bad, it's just that
one made me think.
Good luck in your contest!
-
Very well written. The word usage was excilent. This poem can have many meanings, including the one you expressed in the author notes. This was a great read.
-
lovely choice of words, lovely poem!
-
great ryhme scheme, flowed just like a river loved it loved it loved it
-
wow i like this a lot.
great job on making even lines and the rhymes were really well done...
im going to go check out some of your other poetry. this was incredible.
p.s. 'brightener'?
-
Wow, very nice. Not much of a pro at poetry, but liked this! It kinda had me thinking of Yeerks, though, lol.
HT
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
