Your love has yet to keep me warm
Still I breathe to be your votive
There will be no calm before this storm
I am your one, I am your swarm
A murderer with no motive
Your love has yet to keep me warm
The prince-amoral-Jeremiad-dorm
has not a roof or bed to give
There will be no calm before this storm
Yet to claim you meant no harm
Yes, denial is instinctive
Your love has yet to keep me warm
A foul weather sweater with no right arm
Your gift of love, thanks for the sieve
There will be no calm before this storm
Some day soon you'll lose that charm
What you did to me you'll then relive
Since your love will never keep me warm
There will be no calm before the storm
Author notes
Rubert lost all his hair
Written December 24th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- The Black Zodiac by ReptileStarseed.
300 points, ended September 22, 2006, 21 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
good job
Great write. I am eternally amazed at how well you can do if you really want to. This could be a song too, couldn't it?
Anyway, good job and far more applicable to life than is comfortable for many people, I'll bet. I'm not much on lost love poems, but for this one, I'll make an exception. -
This was really beautiful. You did a great job at expressing yourself and the rhyming pattern was unique. Great message.
-
Beautiful, I love the way you rhymed in this write. Great job and good luck
-
sweet awsome write. i love it.
great job
thanx fer entering my contest and good luck
toodles
XxXxDannyxXxX -
I really really like this. I like the way you've shown the coldness of the other person through your depth of passion. I also like 'your love has yet to keep me warm' as it could mean so many things - it could mean that they have never loved you or that you have never really felt anything real for them. I like this, it's like a match without a spark. Amazing. Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest. Barbie. Xx
-
good
I really enjoyed the refrains you used in your poem and how well they worked with the following stanzas. Also very creative in your choice of rhyming words.
John -
sublime.
Unbelievable, really, your talent for making so many feel through your words. I can't express the admiration in this box. This type of poem form suits you well. Your ability to adhere to the structure with words that kind of lull and wash over my brain so softly and safely and then stun me when I suddenly awaken from the rhythmic trance to realize the punch they've packed. -
Thank you, that means a lot to me.
-
It was a lovely contest in the true spirit of what should be our most purest of reasons to live, our children. Thank you for having me, and your supportive and kind words.
-
i commend you with awsomeness, dont touch it!
That was brilliant I LOVED IT! and I cant wait to read more this poem was so full of emotion, pain, sadness and anger it truly was a master piece ~adds to favs~ lol keep up the awsome writes.
always a friend,
†Midnight_Størm†
Edited on Jan 06, 12:16 because ''. -
Congratulations! Well done!
Maureen
-
you have been given 56 points to promote your poem in payment for third place. It is a promotion that is well deserved. It is a compelling write
David -
Congratulations on your bronze trophy.Very beautifully written~Angelica~
-
I will work out how to get 50 points to you, well done
David -
The prince-amoral-Jeremiad-dorm
has not a roof or bed to give.
There will be no calm before this storm.
What a great poem by the abused to their abuser. You can feel the betrayal and seething anger welling through this piece. Impressive writing.
David
-
Thanks for entering
David -
great work here. captured well the emotional voice and the expression....and the form fits it perfectly.
WSD -
Beautiful! you've captured the anger I feel like bopping the one you speak of.
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
3 old applause
