(Verse 1)
I'm just another poet in line
with a note book full of rhymes
I know it's a matter of time
before it's my turn to shine
I got lyrical fire that’s so sublime
it burns like Turpentine
hitting you straight up your eyes
Like Solomon on the hill
I flow with knowledge that’s all to real
hitting the world at its core
like a platinum laced drill
a poetic Shinobi with kamikaze skills
my words are sharpened to kill
yeah I do it for the thrills; I do it so I can heal
because some days the paper is the only
place I can let emotions spill
-Chorus -
Right now I'm living the life of the broke and nameless
but there's a star in north illuminating potential that's endless
So I through on my hoody and I’m good to go
I'm not searching for fame I just wanna put on show
Give what you need and what you need know
(verse 2)
Like a dream that I couldn't forget
the appeal to the music is so unusual
I can't help but live in the realm of the visual
Every story has it Genesis
I got a glimpse of my Revelation
showing me methods of inspiration
now I rise in the street life
on urbanized meditation
with these words I'll make
my lasting impression
because I'm coming out
of desperation and desire
Don't touch me boy
I'm ready to shock like a broken live wire
hand me a pad and pen and watch
the conspiracy conspire
I gotta be outside the box,
that's just how I roll,
that’s how ya' boy rocks
-Chorus -
Right now I'm living the life of the broke and nameless
but there's a star in north illuminating potential that's endless
So I through on my hoody and I'm good to go
I'm not searching for fame I just wanna put on show
Give you what you need and what you need know.
In a list
A contest entry
- Write me Lyrics by Bryan-CarnelianHope.
800 points, ended June 25, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Get The Gold for a pre-write by piccola.
300 points, ended June 3, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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HAHA nice one! loved many parts of it!
my fav was "the conspiracy conspire" (:
Some parts i found awkward were
"because I coming out" - "because I'm coming out"?
"I got be outside the box" - "I gotta be outside the box"?
"that's just how I how roll," - "that's just how I roll,"?
"So I through on my hoody and I good to go" - "So I throw on my hoody and I'm good to go"?
"I'm not searching for fame I just wanna put on show" - "I'm not searching for fame I just wanna put on a show"?
"Give what you need and what you need know" - "Give what you need and what you need to know"?
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another poet in line ... great line. thank you for entering
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Lol a song about poetry, I loved it. The rhyming made me laugh -in a good way- and I loved the title, right to the point. Awesome write!
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I really enjoy this. I especially like the first line of the chorus! But I don't think it was too long b/c reading it is totally different from speaking it. I can hear this being a neo-soul song or to an old school hip-hop beat. But I really like it. Very inspirational. Keep Writing
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It does read like a song with no music, would like to hear a tune for it. Love,C
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Excellent !
I really love this a whole lot. I love it even ! You have written a lot of wonderful and amazing poetry here I believe that God sent you here to help other's .In Love And Life Brenda Gae !!!! I could not pick out a favorite cause I love the whole thing..
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Wow!
This is fantastic! A few spelling mistakes, but those can be easily ignored. I think verse two should be broke into two stanzas, starting at "Don't touch..." or perhaps consider making verse one a whole stanza. But I like the former over the latter. Very nice piece! I'll have to bookmark this!
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Okay, this is actually an extremely long song. That being said, it was also a very good song. However, I think some of the mixes between abject seriousness and kind of silliness. It seemed at some points of your song that you were trying to reach a deep place filled with emotion and a sense of meaning that can connect a lot of people, but then you sort of crushed it with words that really didn't make sense to what I felt the poem sort of sought to convey just to make a rhyme that seemed to last forever. Now, I'm not a songwriter, and I'm not claiming to be, but there are a lot of ways that this could improve. Now, if there was a killer guitar solo right after the last verse, things things might be different.
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Excellent!
I love the flow of this! Hellava powerful write!
Great job!
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I would totally buy your album
Just give it a beat and you got yourself a hit record! I love the rhyme flow and the way you express your words in general. Great job. -
Good work here
Yhis would be an awesome rap song you have penned I liked it very much
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