The Sun flew away across the crimson sky
To leave me in a panic.
He had always helped me carry
This weight on my shoulder,
But now its gnarled roots have
Entwined themselves within the drowned urban society,
Leaving my outstretched arm hanging hopelessly in front.
Nevertheless in my panic I stay calm,
For I know,
I can swim.
A contest entry
- Semi-Quickie PIF Pic Prompt; come see! by perfectsunset.
675 points, ended May 28, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For all of you Brilliant young Poets...20 and under.... by islekine.
750 points, ended June 8, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Without seeing the picture..I can only guess..
It stands alone fairly well...Flow is off, due to capping the start of every line....Thanks for entering!
Best wishes in the contest!
Write on.
*PEACE*
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Wow this was so beautiful expressed an portrayed feelings of society and personal inner thoughts.
I loved this piece, it was so perfect for the pic!
Thanks so much for your lovely entry and best of luck
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