You are a tree.
Your eyes, like pears
huddle next to your hands, veins
grow from the deep ground.
Everything is simple and soft
like my love to you.
A love that frees itself and dances
upon the rooftops of this poem.
Pure like water, naked as a rose;
risen and eternal as a phoenix.
Soon, a part of me becomes the air. It floats and rambles,
dizzy with the scent of spring
and flowers from your hair.
Door to the tree you are,
is the key to being the breeze. You are the tree.
I am air. We are love and nature.
I love you: a voice in the wind,
that waltzes, and shakes small flowers
from your branches
from you, who rest your hands on sky,
drop your fingers over rivulets
and sleep with fleshy nocturnes
wet with the warmth
of my skin.
Author notes
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands
~ EE Cummings
This is how I love you, this is how I love you.
In a list
- for you • next in list
- a book of months and crazy loving • next in list
- favorites. • next in list
- AP - Some poems of my favorite poets • next in list
A contest entry
- Spark by zochit2me.
1375 points, ended June 12, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please give some honest and constructive criticism -
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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congrats for gold, beautiful poem from your little fingers cute. I love the poem as hydrologist, who works day in and day out with rain, water and plants. You gave beautiful touch to the nature's happennings Namitha..keep it up
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This reminds me of Lorca - I like its tenderness - I see it's inspired by one of my favorite ee cummings's pieces - I also really like Mary Oliver . so we have that much in common. I'm sorry for suggesting you eliminate the white space on your other poem as I see now that it is your signature. Congrats on the gold, well done.
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your words fall as softly and gentle as rain onto the page. Fresh and original, a truly beautiful work of art.
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Beautiful.
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Your eloquent way of writing is like breathing fresh air for the first time...
A softness, with texture and substance.
Wonderful writing and what a lucky person to have won your love and heart.
Thank you for entering and good luck
Becky
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Door to the tree you are,
is the key to being the breeze. You are the tree.
I am air. We are love and nature.
speechless!
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"rivulets"...second poem on row where I see this word
Your calm voice is so soothing here. Not a wond but a soft breeze.
Pure beauty!
Mari
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This piece dances Namita, it whirls, and lilts, leaps with joy and grins, so gracefully. "Soon, a part of me becomes the air." maddingly ferociously terrific line!Love this piece! GEO
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You have such a beautiful, soft voice in your poems
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Perfect.
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Lovely! Had a touch of Pablo Neruda, but at the same time, a subtle uniqueness. "like my love to you" would be better as "like my love for you".
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oh my goodness, another absolutely stunning poem but a stunning poet...
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If there was ever a person who knew how to write 'sigh poetry' it is definitely you! Love, C
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Oh, I remember I once used those exact lines from Cumming's poem as inspiration to one of my earlier poems too, Namita... I simply love, love that Cummings poem. I think that is the beauty of love, or when one loves like this: that you do not really know, but know...
Beautiful beautiful poetry. I love this poem from beginning to end. Just one suggestion: remove the "is" from this line "is the key to being the breeze". This poem has touches of both Neruda and Cummings in it and wow, how you well you've written this. I can only sigh... and melt..
... this is indeed lovelier than all the roses.
~ Nicolette
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'Your eyes, like pears'
tasty.
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i love you sweety this is wonderful
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