scared

i think and hope and wish and pray things will get better
but they dont and i end up crying myself to sleep once again.
the cutting has stopped for now but i cant sleep at night.
the only time i sleep is during the day.
and i cant stop eating. ive gained like 6 pounds.
the suicide thoguhts keep creeping back.
and im scared i might actually kill myslef.
i need help.
but who can i tell?
my freinds?
my parents?
ya right.
but i scared of myself now and i dont know what to do.
and my school grade have dropped.
and i pray and pray and pray and pray for guidence but nothing is coming.
and the sadness is always with me.
and i take it out on my friends.,
and i hate myslef.
and im scared.

im really really scared im going to kill myslef.