You have too much overlap
Too much in-bred debris
Gaping flutters of pollution
saturating entirely
Poisons that can't be sifted.
Causing big, big issues.
Whatever, would one want with
tons and tons of fecal matter.
This is no small hill-mountain
No cariculture's tune
This is something that can kill
wrecking everybody's home
Take your tear prepped spillage
into your own veins.
Then count the lives
that will be saved.
Now go and figure out this riddle
compare it to sobriety's code
In the middle one finds ruin
and if not stopped; it won't be long.
A contest entry
- RAW by Cat.
800 points, ended June 7, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Overlook made up words
Comments
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sorry- i wanted to find something in here to like but it just reads like a rant with no imagery at all
i just can't get behind this one.
but i do appreciate your effort here
m -
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Yes perhaps I should take a writing vacation hahaha you know, regroup. Thanks for your honesty lol
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sobriety's code - i am heading towards that but not quite there yet. i am thinking sewers here with your poem.
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Yes, whatever inspired me to take on sewers hahaha I am clueless lol
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