I’ve found myself desirous which I don’t say out loud
because it’s not a feeling of which I’m very proud.
I don’t begrudge others for their fortune or their fame.
It’s just that I get envious because I want the same.
A feeling that I’m missing out - I think it starts like Spring
with jealous thought that bothers me – an awakening.
Next comes the more persistent phase tapping like a drummer
with constant bouts of envy – I move to the heat of Summer.
Then reality sets in and covers my covetousness with a pall.
The heat of desire begins to fade like the leaves in Fall.
Then comes the final stage upon which my feelings play.
Winter sets in with the thought “Why would I want it anyway?”
Author notes
Prompt: 4. Summer envy.
Picture Credit: “Jealousy Blooms” (http://gorillaslippers.deviantart.com/art/Jealousy-Blooms-33884986)
10 lines (more of less)
A contest entry
- PiF PROMPT CONTEST by penman.
625 points, ended May 24, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Wonderful
Very well done. Best of luck in the contest.
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very nice poem good luck!
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The green is this is really BRIGHT. This is an interesting write, but doesn't seem to really be you. The last line, yes....but the envy....it would surprise me.
Nice poem
Cheryl
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OK... I toned it down (LOL). Don't want to be blamed for blindness. No, it's not really me... but that's the beauty of writing... I don't have to be me all the time
Ken
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Oh my, this is dripping with brilliance. I envy your imagination hehe What a great mind you have my friend..this is so perfect!! I think I smell a Gold
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great creative great depth great visuals. an all around great poem defintely one of the best I have read.
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Ohhh... fabulous!! How on earth did you get that from that prompt?? Amazingly creative and perfect for it... ahhh envy is a terrible thing to feel.. and then often once time has passed you do ask that question you posed in the final line!
Great write Ken!
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Too kind, as usual (but don't stop) Thanks for the encouragement...
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And, forgot to mention, I really LOVE this title! Seasons of discontent, sounds like it should be in a book.
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It is, isn't it? (LOL)
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I love this Ken! What a clever take on the prompt! I love how you have compared this to the four seasons, and the question at the end is a perfect way to finish. (At least you do get to that point eventually!)
This is brilliant, good luck in the contest.
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