Lost in time
Burning to the ground
In the pits of Hell
You wrap your arms around me
As we make our way through
These Blazing Fires
Slowly rotting
Breaking apart
Our souls disconnect
Our feelings are affected
Hugging you tightly
I start to fade
As long as you are with me
There is nothing to fear
These blazing fires are nothing
Compared to my love for you
Author notes
I used option 2- Titles
I tried my best..so I hope you enjoy it!!!
♥♥♥♥
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Well, tell me what you think!!!!
♥♥♥♥
A contest entry
- Options!! Give Me Anything!! :] by Technicolor.
425 points, ended June 1, 2008, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What You'd Give For Love by DarknessOfSanity.
900 points, ended July 4, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes!!!! I want an AP family and friends list!! by saz 09.
460 points, ended September 20, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
♥Dream♥
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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use this one
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you are a very talented writer!!! this poem is amazing!!
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WOW
I really like it... A LOT! I am new to AP so if you have the time, PLEASE read my stuff. Thanks! Well, as far as this poem goes, I really do like it. I like how you compare your love to Blazing Fires! GREAT!
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Tragically Beautiful
I thought it was absolutely wonderful! Very emotional, very sad, but very well done! Thanks for entering -good luck! -
1. I think I would title this "as long as you are with me" because that is the real subject of the poem
This was a nice poem. you could solidfy the poem by using more images. "a hall of flames; your arms a wall around me..." instead of
You wrap your arms around me
As we make our way through
These Blazing Fires
2. first line is wonderful but their is a jump in logic between "lost in time" and being in Hell and flames that needs to be clarified
3. the last line is perfect as long as you don't use the words "blazing fire until that last line so that the words have full impact
Good luck on your contest
Jane
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wow! This was awesome!!!! Really, it was really really amazing!
I love the way you said 'These blazing fires are nothing compared to my love for you'
Great job. -
OH. Wow. Quite the emotional piece. I like it. =]
In the middle, stanzas 2 and 3 were the best for me. I especially like the part: "As long as you are with me / There is nothing to fear." Really good lines.
Good luck! -
oooooh.. i like it!! I really like how you compare your love to the blazing fire. And how the love is stronger, and that nothing can stop it. When you find this kind of love, you can be sure it is forever.
Well, this was good except for the verb tense (Gabi mentioned where).
Haven't you been learning anything in Ms. E's class?!
just kidding! (or am I?)
Wonderful poem, and best of luck in the contest.
♥ -
Oh Sara, I like it!
I think you meant 'disconnect' in the second stanza. And also there was some verb tense switching there, 'affected' is past tense and 'rotting' breaking' and 'connect' are present.
And in the last stanza I think you meant the love was stronger than the fire.
But you said it was nothing compared to the fire, which means the fire is stronger, so I think you meant
'These blazing fires are nothing
Compared to my love for you.'
Which says that the love is stronger.
If I made a mistake in interpreting this, and a mistake in correcting you (
) please tell me! 
Good luck in el contesto!
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