It started with a kiss
and a bracelet of dandelions.
Days of walking,
hands entwined,
talking about our worlds;
sitting together,
trying to get the swing moving
with both of us on it.
Movie marathons,
shoving popcorn into your mouth,
when you said it was making you fat;
throwing trash and shouting
when the villain appeared.
Nights of talking on the phone,
'til one of us drifted off;
IM sessions that lasted all night,
and phones loaded with unread texts.
and the occasional night
we'd be together;
actually sleeping for once,
your head on my shoulder.
It started with a kiss,
and a bracelet of twined dandelions;
it ended in a noisy airport,
with a kiss and tears.
A contest entry
- Prewrites Galore! Enter NOW!!! by xCandieKissesx.
300 points, ended May 31, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is most welcome.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Ah..this is the story of the heart..joyful to tearful journey of life is painted in such a beautiful poetry..wonderful indeed...
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Oh, wow, this is REALLY something, this is professional quality, if everything you do is like this then you should have a book, I can't think of any way to crit this, it is just so great.
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oh this is wicked goos and soooo sad!!!!!! I really really love it!!! almost as much as I lov exclamation points!!! lol.
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wow...this made me cry. it's amazing what love can do to a person isn't it? how a person can be so fragile to us. fabulous write my friend well done.
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i think it's really beautiful. it'd got realism inthe detail you provide, and also the ending being not so 'happy ever after' as most love poems are. i really do like it.
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A beautiful write my friend. Fond memories, but the ending is sad.... Keep on penning.....Katie
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awww wow sweetheart this is beautiful,
i see you found the poems you losted
i hope your oki i miss you,
love lots,
kitty
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"bracelet of twined dandelions;" love this image and how it sounds. I remember making those as a child. More of these type of images and sounds would be nice. I like the swing, too.
I wish the final line was more compelling.
. Rewarded 4
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