"It will be better for you
some day... you'll see"
That's what you said to me
all the while
staring through, unconcerned
how I wanted to believe
you meant what you had said
I did not care about
when things would change
or about the way that they had been
all I saw was you, there,
not seeing me
it broke me down
to know that I would watch
you walk away
leaving me to wonder
would you ever think of me again
A contest entry
- PIF- You still remember me by eltortedequeso.
750 points, ended June 6, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I love this, when someone you love can only see all the past and issues rather than seeing you is some thing that everyone can realate to. You've worded and captured that emotion beautifully. Your very talented.
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Such emotion! Eegads! I feel ya in this piece. Love the quote in the beginning. It sets up the piece perfectly. And the raw emotions following it are simply amazing and heart felt.
'it broke me down
to know that I would watch
you walk away
leaving me to wonder
would you ever think of me again'
I know I can definitely relate to these lines and so can many, many other people. It is sad knowing when something will not work out in the future and it seems futile to even try. Great emotion captured here. Thank you for entering this
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Thank you so much for the gold trophy. It was an unexpected surprise I think that all the pieces in your contest were amazing and I wish it had been a better turnout. Well, thank you once again.
Much Love
Carrie
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