Each day
I place the wind
across your face
turning it
further into me
breathing poison
that drips softly
from resentful skin
waiting
for you to die
Author notes
prompt ~ Raw
A contest entry
- RAW by Cat.
800 points, ended June 7, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
hi,
i like that you tried to give me some imagery with this one. I have to admit that i giggled a bit as there is only one wind i can think of that one human can place across another human's face- dutch oven?
but i do appreciate your effort here- and I can see where you were going with this.
m -
Wow this is good, I really liked "breathing poison". thanks for sharing.
-
Now that's impact.
-
That certainly says what's on the poet's mind. "Waiting for you to die" Well, who woudn't if they were honest; it's a relief from the breathing of poison
Excellent write because you are so honest.
-
Ouch!!! Well.. that was raw emotion indeed!! I would have to say there are a couple of people on this earth I feel that way about!
Fantastic!
-
I liked the twist on this poem, mom... sincerely, the first stanza was vivid and colorful, yet the other sounds pretty much like my usual words. Congratulations!
-
Wow, powerful!! bitter and powerful!! well done with that prompt. Best of luck in the contest!
-
ok thats diffently RAW....... with a punch..!!!!! great write.... thanks for sharing and gooooood luck in contest....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
RAW indeed
Becky
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
