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I am freed.

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I couldn't believe, numb and chained in disbelief.

The reflection in the mirror just blankly stared at me.

The darkest fog of thoughts surrounds to erase memories,

of beauty and lost innocence leaking from my heart.

 
Anger's claws and sharp teeth of revenge sink in,

deep, to pierce my aching soul's relief.

Wearing the weighted pack of guilt, blame, and shame.

The tortured lessons you dear father boldly taught me.

 

I hold a razor blade to cut you, those memories,

and yet it is...

my flesh, my soul..... that slowly bleeds...

Beg me....for forgiveness,  plead upon your knee's,

for tonight...I will not give you one ounce..of me.

 

you took more than enough for yourself,

IT IS TIME FOR YOU.............to

Bleed for me!

Beg me for forgiveness.

GET down upon your knee's. 

 

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Author notes

Contest prompt: save me from myself

Dear Poetess:
Lift up your fist...and let out your angry's voice,
it's a powerful step to unleash your aching soul!

There are many, and not just a few, who have come
through this powerfully.
I can't believe..how many years I wasted of myself,
at 51 years upon my father's death bed,
I finally saw him for the pitiful man he was,
it had absolutely nothing to do with me!
He would have done it to the DOG!
It has absolutely nothing to do with me.

Why did I allow his shame to breathe into me
and take residence in my heart.
When it had.....nothing to do with .....me!

Your heart is screaming to shed his stench of
corruption and disloyalty. This is the time
when you can heal powerfully....but you must
call that counselor and unleash your heart
of all the remnants to breathe and see the
beauty and innocence YOU STILL ARE!

and with tears in my heart...I can tell you..
that somehow somewhere I found the courage to
say...I forgive you...as a gift to myself,
and I will not carry your PAIN ANYMORE!

much love,
ears2hearyou
Kathleen/Seattle.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • quantumsurveyor
    May 26, 2008

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    A cry from the heart that so mirrors our observed experience that the "abused" constantly blame themselves for the badness in those others who are, as you say, "pitiful" A most moving document. Couple of points (just can't help it ! LOL) You have the possessive apostrophe absolutely correct at "soul's" but the apostrophe is superfluous at both of your "knee's" A hard poem to read because of the content which, happening, (thank God) has eluded some of us. Nicely penned.


  • CountryCousin
    May 24, 2008

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    Powerful.

    The whole piece is very powerful and that ending so strong. Hell was full so I came back for you. This writing at its best.


  • Lucy.
    May 23, 2008

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    A brave and powerful poem for a brave and powerful poetess! (And wonderful author notes too) I hope your words help somebody, I'm certain they will.


  • Xninja-x-loverX
    May 23, 2008

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    i realy like this poem! its creepy demented and i love it!!!!!!!!!!
    --> xXx


  • movedon
    May 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. A strong write. Well done

    Mylee


  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    May 23, 2008

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    wooohooo kat! you have got to be one of the strongest people I know, and always have such an amazingly powerful message behind your writes!!!

    you are amazing!!!

    Tasha

1 - 6 of 6