she opens her mouth
wide enough
for me to see her life ~
internal windows
letting in the morning flame
and I watch her
peek at yesterday's memories
that hang softly
from the veins of September ~
it's warmer now
and even her breath
sweetens my skin
Author notes
white linen
orchards
dawn
A contest entry
- favourite things PIF by Nicolette.
1200 points, ended June 1, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I like your her mouth opening, morning flame for dawn, internal windows, hanging memories and her breath sweetening your skin.
Such tender observations.
Marlene -
"that hang softly
from the veins of September"
That is really lovely and it speaks to me (perhaps because I once wrote about "the blue eyes of September")
. There is a lovely sense of intimacy about this poem, a warmth and a closeness... The opening stanza works really well to put the reader right into the essence of this poem. I liked this. Thank you for your entry.
~ Nicolette
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