Lights flashing
Music blaring
People dancing
Life has been put on hold
Just for one night
Just for one party
Time stands still
I forget my problems
I forget my worries
I live
A contest entry
- Short Poems by Pollycheck.
450 points, ended May 26, 2008, 179 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Thank you for entering my short poems contest. This short cropped writing style works very well for you. Good Job.
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Excellent idea for something "short and sweet." I think that you could do a little more with the first stanza, use more verbs, because a party as you describe it is driven by action rather than thought processes. Maybe you could even use more effective and colorful verbs in place of, say, "flashing" or "dancing," or describe them in an unexpected and ironic way.
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Tough having to face reality the next day though. Can understand where this comes from; good to leave problems behind for a night, as long as one does not do other things to cause more problems the next day. LOL Easy to read and understand what you have penned here.
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it was good
well its a short poem. but only a good writer can pull it off and i think that you are indeed.i must agree that i also like the simplicity very much.I think it reminds me of a club i went to once but anyway! great job!
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I love the simplicity.
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Ty. and ty for ur comment
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