Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Old-World

Missing image

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Early morning sun

filters through a skylight,

a glow almost as bright as

grandmother’s smile.

 

Diligent she shuffles

about her terrace kitchen as

a resident feline, perched

atop a balustrade, pines

 

for an anchovy, a bit of

sausage, or sweet cream and

nothing is taken to extreme

here, except her cooking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Picture prompt-

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Avendesora Dreamer
    July 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    all of this, just from that picture? *whistles* you amaze me yet again. And I wonder, is your grandmother italian or just one who loves to cook?


  • Lyndon gold member
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    This is a joyous if oblique response.

    Very visual and the best figure of speech is the simile of lines 3 and 4.
    If you have a period following "cooking", why not following "smile"?
    One thought, adjectives are crisper, usually, than are adverbs such as "diligently". 'Diligent, she shuffles ...'. What do you think?
    Lineation is good and I admire the enjambment from stanza two to three. You achieve a fine emphasis thereby.
    Diction is folksy. I liked that.

    Lyndon of the Winklings.


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    June 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this visual, this feel for old world cooking and classical charm.

    "a glow almost as bright as" I like this line but thought it might work more effectively as

    "glowing almost as bright as"

    Just a thought. A wonderful verse to the image prompt. Nicely done. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela


  • BluesMan gold member
    June 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for returning childhood memories that were nearly forgotten. The mental image of my Grandmother has become more bright since I have read this

    I simply love these two lines

    "a glow almost as bright as
    grandmother’s smile"

    And very bright her smile was and has become again in my memory.
    Bill


  • Sonja
    May 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh! Childhood memories... sweet memories of my grandma hands and her work. Thank you for bringing them back to me with your great poetry.
    ~Sonja~


  • Sandal
    May 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You have found a story in an still life, and fleshed it out with characters - I enjoyed reading. There is a lovely purpose in her activity. Best of luck!


  • ennovy silver member
    May 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your words also paint a beautiful picture of the old world; that I too remember very well...excellent write...novy


  • Cannonsfire
    May 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    One of my favorite memories is my grandmother's kitchen and I still cannot cook like she did. Love, Chez


  • Amera gold member
    May 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is great! Really great, you bring the reader right into grandma's house. I can smell the cooking. Well done!

    Love,
    Amera


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    May 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sounds like the perfect grandma to me!! Sounds a lot like mine.. never extreme, except for her cooking!

    This is wonderful hun.. best of luck in the contest, I think you'll do great!


  • Margaret Denham gold member
    May 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I would love to spend a day in Grandmother's kitchen soaking up all of her Old World cooking secrets.

    Your words were so evocative I could almost smell the aroma of my Mother baking cakes and biscuits on Saturday mornings when I was young. I always stole the cake batter a spoonful at a time when she went to check the stove.

    Best wishes in the contest dear

    Always
    Margaret


  • Nature Song silver member
    May 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nothing is taken hre to any extreme except for Grandma's cooking. I can picture the cats sitting and begging for cream or pieces of meat! Wonderful picture you have captured here, and the words...well you do that so well! ~Sie

    Love it Bro...

1 - 12 of 12